The Wench's Vent

flashes of images in my brain can be described in thousands of words but my vocabulary is limited

2012-01-27T11:27:00.004+01:00

7 billion people on earth. Everyday you walk, every day people pass by. Each time there isn't but fractions of seconds that two pairs of eyes met and acknowledge it's owner's presence, before their brains forgot them again.

Look at me while I look at you
and then
we go on ahead.

You can look at me as I look at you
and only in those two seconds
will I acknowledge you.

Look at me as I look at you
Now turn back to your partner
She's been trying to talk.

I know
and I know you know
That we are stealing glances.

edit: I saw this on tumblr, but it came from 9gag. -_-!

2012-01-24T11:02:00.001+01:00

We checked in at the hotel at I don't know what time. Mula-mula kita book standard room with double bed. We thought of cramming ourselves in a room - but that morning I couldn't think properly and told the other two to just get inside and rest while we check-in and of course reception asked where would the other two be staying. He was the one who suggested that we upgrade to family room and we agreed, now paying $93 for the room, divided between us four, instead of $45 in the first place. I was glad - room was indeed very small, the family suite makes it possible to breathe comfortably.
Then we went put to see the city. It was after 8am - though it feels like 11, we're too tired! Aaaand the rush hour is not helping. MRTs come every minute (if not every 45s) but we only barely managed to step inside the third train - that's saying how many people are using public transport to work. It's like travelling together with the crowd from Jalan TAR pada weekend lepas gaji masuk. Except this crowd is well-dressed, armed with iPhone 4s, Samsung Notes and their earphones. Oh yeah, Singaporean ladies wore grey eye shadows to work as opposed to soft pink worn by the German.
We got out at Raffles Place and spent 15 minutes watching a very cute German baby being told off by her mother - an excuse to sit after penat gila wrestling with the rush hour. The station's near the UOB Plaza

so effing tall almost cricked my neck standing at the base and looking up: something I never did with KLCC.

And THIS

'Bird' by Fernando Botero, the same person who painted the fat Monalisa. Man I'm so proud I touched this.

Give you the bird's fat ass.

BIRD YO ASS SO FAT, it's cute. Kalau bukan gangsa dah gigit dah kaki dia.

In Singapore installations like this are to be seen everywhere, by the way. From the Boat Quay we went by foot along the Singapore River towards the Merlion overlooking Marina Bay Sands and the Esplanade Theathers.

Then naik kat City Hall station belah pegi Bugis (Kampong Glam) sebab nak makan please la kitorang tak makan ape-ape lagi dari semalam okay. Sampai Arab Street makan dulu: Zam-zam Restaurant. I only have the picture of the food and the receipt. Mamak tu yang suggest this: Two plates of briyani and one ayam masala - costs $7.50. Take two sets and split between four people. Including drinks that's $5.10 pro Person. See the teh ais? Besar gila gelas, rase macam orang Arab. Yeah their portions are big. They have a lot more to offer: Murtabak kambing lembu biri-biri rusa goreng-goreng pun ada, but at some points in life you do not think and you do not care what you stuff into your throats as long as you can satisfy your bodily need for replenishment and shut your fears of starvation up.

There's the Sultan Mosque nearby, and Arab Street is where you shop for kain ela. Bargain hard, please. Nearby is also the Haji Lane: a place selling all things vintage and quirky. You will want to shop here, but save some money for the souvenirs, I know a place you can get them cheaper.

This is the ultimate budget trip yaww. Visit Singapore with RM500

2012-01-20T06:55:00.000+01:00

So what is a budget trip. A pre-calculated trip, of course, when you try to travel with what little money you have. For this one, I exchanged RM450 to to SGD 184 - rate was 2.435. Flight ticket to SG cost MYR49.00 (no checked-in luggage, no insurance) including taxes, so I spent total RM500 only. I'm really proud of myself.
We arrived at Changi Airport on the night of 16th January at 2315 hrs, 15 minutes ahead of schedule. Since ingatkan sampai lambat, kami takde la book hotel untuk malam tu. Rugi pitih je. Sekali pilot bawak laju gila. We decided to spend the night in the airport anyway. Okay. Now. Changi airport ade tiga terminal. Kitorang sampai kat the newly-upgraded Terminal 1 (bukan Seremban punya). Departure / Arrival Hall dia is joined together, memang awesome. Carpeted - boleh rilek je tido atas lantai. Free foot massages. Watch full-length movies from their flat screen TVs. Macam rumah kan. If you dare, stay inside the arrival hall until you're ready to get your passport stamped / to start melancong. We spent only about half an hour there, pastu baru pegi customs counter. Abang kaunter pun surprised - "Ingatkan dah habis, rupanya ade lagi!" - sebab sume AirAsia passengers yang naik dengan kitorang dah check out pun. Kalau cerdik sikit, check for next flight coming in from your hometown and check out with them to avoid suspicion - 'ape la budak-budak ni buat kat dalam'. Kalau takde pun rilek suda. Takkan nye dia marah. Oh yeah, when we arrived, yang stamp pasport tu semua Melayu siap borak-borak. Orang Singapore peramah sampai pelik dibuatnye.
Kat terminal 1 kedai-kedai dia biasa je. Nak best naik Skytrain free je pegi terminal lain, terminal 2 ade shopping2. Terminal 3 ade Slide. Spend $10 dalam airport dapat satu token bole main gelongsor empat tingkat. Kat basement 2 ade free testing - tapi 1.5 tingkat je la. Jangan lupa amik brochures yang diorang letak-letak tu. Study it, move around and you'll not notice it was morning. Also see this: Free things to do at Changi airport. For in house wireless service, approach Info Counter with your passport and mintak password. Dia bagi free to use with your wireless device for four hours. Dah habis mintalah lagi. Kalau tak mahu buat pape, duduk lepak tido mane-mane diam-diam. Oh yeah, malam pertama kat Singapore, spend $6 untuk Starbucks sebab nak tumpang tido kan.

This trip was thoroughly unplanned. Before pegi cuma beli tiket ke sana and booking bilik hotel satu malam, pastu cari range harga tiket bas balik KL. For me, memang berani mati la kalau pegi overseas trip tak plan. Nanti balik menyesal macam-macam. Kami cuma tahu tempat nak pergi Sentosa and Orchard Road, pastu nak pegi beli kain tapi tak tahu kat mane. Jadinye. Make use of the maps they provided for free. Google places you want to go, things you want to do "beli kain kat singapore, singapore budget trip, makan kat singapore" dan sebagainye. Ah tapi mudah je, jangan risau.
Pagi tu kita naik MRT ke arah City. Mase ni excited la nak start melancong kan. Hotel kitorang kat Geylang. Single trip Changi Airport - Aljunied station cost $1.90. Oh ye, MRT ni kalau takde EzLink (macam TouchNGo), kena beli tiket kat machine. Sediakan small change. Tiket dia macam kad la, lepas guna refund balik dapat $1. So kita bayar $2.90, tapi kira $1.90 la sebab $1 tu bole refund. Ada faham? $1 tu guna untuk rolling je la. Jangan lupa refund sebelum balik kalau xnk jadikan tiket tu souvenir keke. Sampai hotel, simpan barang. Hotel kitorang book kat sini tapi keyword yang guna untuk google dah lupa. Try lah "budget hotel Singapore, cheap hotel" ke apa ke. We split $93 between four people for a family room. Considering its a hotel, it's quite cheap, sebab kalau nak tido Singapore comfortably for the night you really have to spend about 20 bucks even for a backpackers hostel UNLESS you're ready to sleep in a 20-bed mixed gender room - that one is less than $8. Kalau book awal, dapat la kot all-female room ke all-male ke. I didn't regret our room, but I regretted choosing the hotel - it was in the red light district of Geylang, felt so uneasy walking between the hotel and MRT station. We initially wanted to stay in another hotel, but saw through the Google Street View that this one is situated in a more lively area with a lot more shops and stuff. I have read somewhere that Geylang is a red light district, but failed to make the connection. We arrived at our hotel that morning all satisfied with the area - bustling with people, near to MRT station etc. That afternoon we took a ride in a taxi (that's another story) and the surprised driver told us about it, THEN only we started seeing a whole new world. That evening I almost died (METAPHORIC!) walking back to hotel, drenched in my own paranoic cold sweat. Singapore's crime rate is really low, by the way.
End of part 1, I'll continue, I promise!

I have a friend Gorilla.

2011-12-02T14:30:00.001+01:00

I should have paid more attention. I should have known that friends is more than dutifully liking Facebook updates and grinning inwardly at Twitter jokes.
To make sure I don't forget, I made a mental note. That's apparently a mistake, because it felt like I've accomplished something after that (the note making part). Because after some time I forgot that I had made a mental note AND the thing I don't want to forget altogether.
Now I've taken to jotting down reminders on every surface that allows the small sphere at the tip of a ball pen to roll and dispense the viscous ink (credits to Wiki) onto it. The draft for this post is written at the back of a pamphlet for the National Online Quiz 6.
yes i draft my blog posts. well, not actual drafts maybe, just strings of phrases so i wont forget the key idea.
Actually the full draft is for another post, but the title to this post is an afterthought I wrote at the very end of the page and it's suits my current mood - so.
It's a song from a camping trip in Darjah 2.

I have a friend Gorilla. Gorilla's name is Toby. Toby's friend is (say somebody's name here). This is how he/she dances. Ooh Ooh Oooh.

Cue to the one whose name was called who must then dance the gorilla dance - just random sumoish foot-stamping and clapping your hands above your head. We sang this during ice-breaking, which is why it's always there like an original soundtrack when I think about friends and the people around me.

Bila orang kejut tidur buat bunyi "Mmm?!" konon-konon dah sedar.

2011-11-27T12:38:00.001+01:00

Two years back emak told a story of her officemate who saw our family picture and wanted me as her menantu. Based on the picture only. Heh mak cik I sincerely think you were duped. Anyway today the mak cik held a wedding and right at the door we saw the boy (no he wasn't the one getting married but his older brother) sebab makcik and pakcik tengah amik gambar atas pelamin - kita orang datang lambat, pukul 2 keh keh nasib baik nasi ada lagi. I didn't want to go at first, because we went to the same couple's reception yesterday - bride's family - but since both parents and in-laws are friends of my parents, we were invited to both. My emak knows how I liked going to weddings so when I told her I'm rain-checking today, she fussed a lot and told me "it was just jokes what we told you before", "yesterday was my other friend and she will see that you didn't come to this one" maybe thinking I didn't want to go because of the story. She even waited until I was ready before getting out of the house when she usually got into the car first.

So we arrived at the wedding, and at the door the boy greeted ayah first, asking "oh ni dari Sungai Udang ke?" and there was this total facepalm moment when my ayah said "aah betul, kalau tak kita ni dah berbesan" and tunjuk ke arah aku plak tu adoiyaiiiii nak tutup muka dengan pinggan je rasanya. Tapi since my best ability is pretending not to hear i managed to grin straight-faced at him though embarrassment is like oozing out from our nostrils.

Anyway my parents didn't quite remember if that was the boy but I think it was him, he was there on my aunt's wedding when the story first got round and the lot of my relatives were like pointing me out and pointing him out - helluva lot of facepalm moments, I was totally hiding behind the bunga telur basket I was holding - and I didn't think he was cute at that time but today he was. Could be the effect of the pink baju melayu he wore today, and the fact that he bought his emak a Honda City. :D

But then he walked past our table as we were eating and I heard him dragging his slippers (? shoes? sandals?) on the floor as he walked and straightaway in my head a buzzer sound goes TEEEETTTTTT.

Iklan sekejap dari drama melayu.com bila Cikgu Aspalela (memang nama sebenar) datang ke meja, tegur2 mak and asked me "kenapa awak terlalu langsing?". Cikgu last jumpa saya masa saya darjah enam kan cikgu.

Kemudian sambung balik drama melayu bila nak balik and ayah nak berborak pulak dengan Anuar kot nama dia. Mak biasa la pegi buat collection kuih bakar kek tapai dan door gift. Dengar-dengar ayat pertama macam cakap pasal aku je hah jom belah dok kat luar dengan mak cik mak cik sedara diorang belah Perak ah hentam je lah janji tak dengar cakap apa hahahaha. Masuk dalam kereta ayah cerita si budak tu sampai sekarang belum nak kahwin lagi tunggu apa tak tahu. Mak dia tak jadi besan dengan mak sebab ejatti-chan lambat sangat habis belajar pastu sekarang dah gemok gedempol plak tu. Ok itu tambahan je kehkeh.

Baiklah seterusnya berubah setting sebab heroin picisan drama cliche pegi beli tiket bas nak balik KL kat Masjid Tanah. Bas Maraliner dah abis pastu pergi tanya Jebat, "he he heheeeeiiiiiii Hang Jebat!" eh taklah cakap assalamualaikum la kat pakcik and makcik angker kaunter bas Jebat Ekspres. Aah la pernah tak mereka tersenyum manis kepadaku. Haritu beli tiket Jebat pukul 4.30 konon nak balik awal sekali bas rosak pukul 5.30 baru bas sampai. Maka tadi aku pun dengan mangkuk ayun nye pergi tanya pakcik and makcik bas Jebat tu "Ada possibility bas rosak tak esok?" oh bila lakonan semula baru nampak kedunguannya. Anyway kena sound tiga empat butir kat kaunter tu jugak padan muka aku. Dialog termasuklah "mulut lancang", "beli bas sendiri" dan "mati ni kita tak boleh nak jangka". Walaupun macho rupa paras tapi hati menangis siapa tahu sob sob sroott srooootttt. Touching sorang-sorang dalam kereta selama sepuluh minit lepas kena marah.

Habislah kisah hidup pada 1 Muharam 1433H. By the way semua novel Melayu yang kubaca (kecuali Dear Yayah dan sewaktu dengannya) semuanya menceritakan kisah sepasang lelaki dan wanita yang pada mulanya tidak suka akan satu sama lain, namun berkahwin kerana sebab-sebab yang divariasikan jalan ceritanya. Kemudian lama-lama menjadi suka pastu ada lah drama dia tapi asasnya begitulah. Membuatkanku terfikir kat Malaysia ni memang ramai ke yang kahwin kontrak atau dijodohkan oleh mak ayah / wasiat dan ikut juga walaupun tak suka? Pelik saya.

Do You Eat Poison?

2011-10-22T12:49:00.000+02:00

Do you smear super glue onto your fingers and touch things with them?
Do you close your eyes and go cross the street? Or hammer a nail?
Do you attach a knife to a boomerang and play it?
Do you? Do you? Do you?

If you know being friends with a snake ~~or syaiton~~ will sooner or later bring you misfortunes, why would you want to be friends?
Why would you want to stare into the BBQ fire when you're wearing contact lenses?*
Why would you want to walk across the kitchen barefoot when somebody just broke a plate?
Why do you want to do things bad to yourself? Like, if nothing good ever came out from a relationship you once had, or from decisions you made, why would you repeat it? Why would you be friends with somebody who broke you down? Repeating anecdotes of your self-pity does NOT make someone sympathize - it makes them cringe AWAY.

Why would you wait for answers? If it wasn't given, then it isn't meant to be given. Life is not what you hear, read or see - those stories are what happened to others, not you.

Real home, my dream

2011-09-29T11:54:00.000+02:00

What's with all the new interfaces at social websites? Blogger opting for an almost translucent one, making me squint and hunch uncomfortably forwards everytime I want to click a button. Hope they can insert some language-correcting features like in word processors, though that may be too much to ask.And with Locations, does everybody really want to know where I am? What if I lied saying I'm somewhere though I'm not? People wanting to give me a surprise party would be so disappointed.

Anyway that wasn't the point.

First-years at UM automatically get to live in the residential colleges and the unlucky rest have to kais-kais around for a place to stay. We, the Dermasiswa Perguruan KPM scholars (just found out the name, cheers Jih) were given places at the IPBA hostel. Though our current staying place requires everyone to go under the squeamish-making stare of the hanturayaic* pakcik guard each time you go in and out, I'm really thankful. Honestly I can't think of other things annoying. (Now I wrote annoying as annyong two times in a row).

The apartment I live in right now is satisfyingly pretty. Bathroom en-suite I tell you - so big can even marathon from this end to another. Shared with another one girl only. Now where am I going with this post.

Ah yes. Real home, my dream. Uh-huh copy paste that to the title box. It's this - I wanted to install a bookshelf in my bathroom. You know, for some light reading, to take your mind off the hard work. Moreover the toilet seat wasn't given that name for just any reason either. There was also a period when I was busy as to be able to leisure read only in the bathrooms. I miss the good old booky days.

Few pictures/examples. Image credit goes to uploader.

Pretty. Yess you don't need to get up to choose. Then after a few days my books will all go kembang because of, you know, water sploshes. Must resort to toilet papers.

This one is really pretty too. If put at the other side of the room, I can even watch TV.

Hey they actually come in a few sizes.

Last one:

It's at the side, would be hard turning to your right or left if you change your mind about the book halfways.

What would be suitable reading material in there? Nothing academical - I don't want to bring them in bathrooms. Light chicklits, of course. Komik RM6.50 yang sekarang dah naik harga seringgit. Lustiges Taschenbuch (anybody generous enough to add to my measly collection?). And this:

Yalah your body is already hard at work so why tire your mind too. Keke. Ini pun dua minggu baca baru habis. No I don't own any copy. Why is there a need to explain that anyway? Borrowed one from a friend and let it stay in the bathroom. Sorry! ;)

Hey there's actually a lot of words inside. Smallish font, too.

끝~!

*he really works 22 hours a day. We wondered why he is ALWAYS there lurking at the guard post , hence the nickname. There's another pakcik filling in for the remaining two hours.

sometimes i have the notion to change my blog title but it fits the purpose too much..

2011-09-01T14:47:00.002+02:00

selamat hari raya.

ya adik lelaki baru melintas di hadapan. main ragbi masa bulan puasa, dia dah berlaga lutut dengan hulk hogan. ligamen bengkak, tak perlu tanya kenapa dia seorang yang cedera sedangkan hulk hogan itu beraya bahagia. adik lelaki kini bertongkat terhegeh-hegeh. tapi sebenarnya perkara biasa, bukan itu fokus utama entri kali ini.

kami pergi beraya merentas melaka dari hujung sini ke hujung sana. singgah di masjid untuk solat. adik lelaki (selepas ini boboi) solat kena duduk. ok kalau bawa kerusi lipat pun, kalau ruang solat di masjid letak di tingkat dua sama juga hegeh-hegeh mendaki. bukan boboi saja. sampai-sampai jemaah baru bersurai lepas solat zohor. nampak ada atok berpaut for dear life pada handrail tangga masa hendak turun. hari ni pun. dekat- dekat ledang, masjid macam itu juga ciri binaannya. tangga kemain banyak. ini tak patut untuk dikatakan tapi kan memang orang-orang tua yang ramai ke sejid. larat pula mereka tak campur gigih tabah lagi.

fokus entri kali ini ialah kita takkan perasan pun satu benda itu bila takde kena mengena dengan kita. ignorance truly is bliss.

perisa kiwi lemon

2011-08-14T07:05:00.003+02:00

tamat musim durian, bermulalah musim memutus. Heh. Ada musim jugak ke. Putus tunang dengan gepren yang boleh tahan la baik dan biasa-biasa (di mata penonton drama yang curious hampir membunuh kucing) pastu selamba in a relationship denagn ciki girl yg kelihatan lebih urban berdasarkan profile picture di facebook. Ya profile picture memang namanya profile picture takyah la nak tulis default picture ke DP ke stop trying to act special. Berbalik kepada relationship yang baru tadi. Maka memanglah meminta kutukan hangat dari penonton, tu lah dari awal sapa suruh tayang drama kat public channel. Kalau nak tayang jugak cari cable channel yang orang kena beli baru lah agree. Ok merapu.

Oh sebenarnya nak buat eksperimen tengok kalau tulis Melayu dengan penuh perasaan ade tak short form ke ape benda ngarut-ngarut eja yang keluar. Smlm nampak mcm ade short form banyak sgt tp hari ni tak perasan pulak. Oo memang banyak pun tp kalau monolog kot, kalau naratif kurang sedikit. Mungkin mungkin. Eh tapi blog memang la monolog. Kan? Sebab dia rhyme. Mana tau derived from. Lagipun mana ada orang berbalas-balas pantun dalam blog. Eh ade kot. Haaaaaahhhh.

Jangan minum kopi malam-malam kalau satu-satunya ibadah yang diintend malam itu adalah tido. Kalau mahu juga tido segera setengah jam lepas minum before the caffeine kicks in. Sebab once it does I'm sorry no mercy.

randomness w/o a formula

2011-08-13T18:18:00.002+02:00

1.Came across an entry yesterday in which someone wrote about herself trying hard to separate her real and virtual life. Led me to imagine that she maybe works as a big shot investment banker on wall street in the day but fangirls anonymously every night on wordpress. Which is cool. And made me want to separate mine too. Like, having real contact with real friends instead of clicking on their facebook profiles to get the updates. Which is a bad example.

2. My brother got his AS Levels results day before yesterday and literally slumped in disappointment. I think 14 points is really good, considering he took accounts n economics, which he never learnt in school and had to catch up in the one year he was doing the AS. Plus when compared to another pathetic, shit-lazy attempter who still failed to scrape enough points after doing the same thing for three years, i think my brother deserves a kenduri doa selamat. Anyway. Maybe 14points aren't enough to get you admitted as Ashraf Haziq's junior. You see, he wants to try to get into schools smack in the middle of London. How jealous can you get? ...Well not much if you consider the current riot and the living costs he'll have to face. ... But I'm still jealous!

3. I had a four-month holiday and wanted to work 'to meet new people'. As fate twisted and turned I landed on this current occupation, which allows me to really meet people but make no new contacts. On second thought its a good thing actually; I'm not that good at keeping in touch. And you have to go through the usual, reserved-for-strangers social niceties for a few minutes only; as opposed to making a new friend: kena bersopan santun, kenal hati budi dulu sikit baru berani nak gurau kasar ke cubit-cubit lemak ke apa ke.

4. Bila tulis Melayu ni mesti teringat minggu orientasi UM, ada sekali tu panggil penceramah tu dtg dari Jobstreet dia kata kena berani ckp English, pstu dah last-last dia suruh tanya soalan and looked straight at my face but I was a loser chicken and only looked back at him sending him my question telepathically before getting the dial-up connection interrupted by another student asking. I regretted it to this day. Not because my qs was an all-important, world-changing one, but because ~~I had no balls~~ I was a chicken.

5. I hope everybody found a better part of themselves (however tiny) this Ramadhan. Lets resolve to exercise them until the next one, inshaAllah.

Just telling you

2011-08-07T15:53:00.002+02:00

That if you have big arms, holding them this way above your head will actually make them look bigger.

So don't do it.

Only Seunggi can do it. Heh.

Seunggi-yah, I hold you responsible.

2011-08-04T17:29:00.005+02:00

사야 벌에 두리스 마잠 인이. 즘부루 딱? ㅋㅋ

I forgot the first novel pains of learning a new language. Wish I had a Siegel to help go through the never known before grammatical-functioned(?) particles and honorifics. I know the basic rules of conjugation and (non-)colloquial speech - which applies to almost every language, anyway - but the origins of the language (East-Asian) and my interface (English) are so different, it makes it all more confusing since my mother tongue is Malay. I think I may fare better had I learnt it Korean-Malay. And my English is getting crappier since I have been reading Jane Austen a lot.

I bought the book two weeks ago, and had so far smoothly progressed to chapter four, at the end of which I managed to read Korean characters quite well (ahem). I printed out lyrics to songs and sang along a few hundred times before the characters began to look like alphabets instead of miniature geometrical shapes and some odd wiggles. By this time I am happy enough that I am able to pronounce and write the language (devoid of understanding their meaning - ah peduli apa). While sitting at the stall waiting for customers I practice writing out the characters, producing not Korean words but Malay ones. Which might explain why the sentence above seem so rubbishy when Google-translated; you should actually listen to them. It's not Korean, it's Kowi (or Hawi, I am yet to decide. -wi comes from Jawi. Hangul is the Korean character system).

Chapter 5 is where you start with the heavy grammatical parts. I am my own teacher, hence the procrastination. 이자띠 파이팅! 이자띠 화이팅!^^

A toast to What Ifs, If Onlys and I Wishes.

2011-07-24T09:43:00.002+02:00

Allah tak jadikan kita cerdik / kaya / cantek menawan / super awesome , sebab dah tau dah kalau kita kaya, perangai kita mesti buruk macam beskal Raleigh takde handle yang dah sepuluh tahun dok bawah rumah.

Syukur Alhamdulillah.

It all ends

2011-07-16T17:19:00.002+02:00

I get obsessed over a lot of things. From Hello Kitty to Jelly Beans to Shahid Kapoor to having at least one layer of face powder each time I gO OUT. I DONT KNOW WHY THIS STUPID KEYPAD KEEPS CAPS LOCKKING ITSELF AND AM TOO LAZY TO PRESS THE KEY BEFORE EACH ALPHABET SO I AM STOPPING AND CONTINUING SOME TIME LATER ON A PROPER KEYBOARD, NOT THIS UNUNDERSTANDABLE NOKIA CREATION. I AM NOT SHOUTING RIGHT NOW SO PARDON THE LOUD LETTERS. I LOVE HARRY POTTER, AND XIAXUE HEHEH. SALAAMUN'ALAIKUM

I forgot the clever title I composed for this entry last night before going to sleep.

2011-07-15T07:08:00.002+02:00

I can not sleep if I don't read beforehand. Even after getting drowsy and having the lights off, there are still some things I couldn't free my mind from and end up mulling over. Many nights I spend with re-enacting life scenes, in which I had better responses to conversations and looked cooler. Heh. Other times were devoted to stories, most of it spin-offs from dramas or happenings around me. Like last night, I had Voldemort attacking me in front of a cinema. He rushed from inside the halls and pointed his wand at me screaming Avada Kedavra (to no effect, of course). When I stood my ground he blinked and cocked his head in surprise (in sync with the need of today's aegyo); I merely wiggled my forefinger at him and said "No killings in cinemas, please," in the most teacher-like manner possible.

Many other nights I spend with making mental blog entries in my head, all pretty and amusing and ready to be typed in the next day. Sadly, always, when a turned-on, already-connected-to-the-internet computer is within reach, I forgot my arguments. Recomposing them makes the end result turn so boring and predictable, so I dropped the effort altogether, and postponed it to the next time, when the cycle repeats.

an expression of feeling

2011-06-01T17:54:00.004+02:00

lee seunggi's 'the oh-shit!'

from dramabeans.com.

Pacik, Masuk Sini Patutnye Tadi

2011-03-27T10:53:00.002+02:00

Tak ada hadiah untuk teka tajuk itu ditujukan untuk siapa. Btw I write about my own experiences, just maybe what's currently happening around me triggers my memory so I feel drawn to write about it, please don't anybody feel like I'm talking about them.

Tajuk ditujukan untuk pacik teksi.

Mula-mula bukak semester memang kita semua semangat, 31 minit sebelum start class dah kita turun tunggu bas. Tapi sekarang 1ominit pun belum tentu. Jadi bila dah lambat, terlepas bas, kita naik teksi. Seminggu tu ada la empat lima kali naik teksi. Sampaikan sudah kenal pacik teksi misai ceni camtu, pacik teksi ada anak gadis comel dah tiga kali org meminang, pacik teksi nasi kukus kat PJ dan ramai lagi.

Selalunya kita berebut taknak duduk depan, sebab nanti kena layan pakcik berborak. Lepas tu kita taknak naik teksi buruk sebab kadang-kadang enjin dia bunyi macam motobot kita takut tak sampai pulak nanti. Tapi naik teksi cantik kereta Saga tu selalunya dia noob tak tau jalan sebab dia kan baru bawak teksi. Geram bila dia eksyen sangat macam tau pastu kita plak yang kena bayar untuk kenoobiban dia. Rasa nak buat rampasan stereng. Kalau saya drive sendiri memang dah sampai dah, pacik.

Nampak sesuatu yang mengejutkan di Facebook. Isk.

Actually I have a lot more to write about but right now I just couldn't. Until some other time.

Banyak yang Bercinta, Bertahun-tahun Putus Juga

2011-03-18T16:59:00.002+01:00

Each time I think I can deal with heartbreaks, it struck. The only difference is the time needed to collect the pieces and superglue them together – it took less than two hours the last time, and a two-minutes crying session ONLY. I. Am. Awesome.

Eh tajuk kan bahasa melayu jadi kita kenalah tulis melayu. Mari cakap pasal ‘rebound’. Bahasa melayunya loncatan semula. Rebound adalah fenomena yang berlaku apabila seseorang yang baru putus selepas bercinta bagai nak rak dengan kekasih lama bertemu seseorang yang agak interesting padanya, dan menyedari bahawa mungkinkah cinta berputik kembali patah tumbuh hilang berganti seterusnya mengurat pula that interesting person sampailah kedapatan. Interesting di sini bermaksud orang itu tidak semestinya menepati ciri-ciri manusia idaman, tetapi mungkin mempunyai satu sifat yang tidak ada pada kekasih lama seperti tinggi 180cm, bercakap sopan santun, berjejari runcing, berambut ala Justin Bieber dan pelbagai lagi plus points yang sebenarnya hampir tidak lojik. Fenomena rebound juga bergantung gigih kepada timing yang tepat sekali, dan juga kepada kadar kekecewaan – semakin teruk kecewanyer, semakin dungu lah reboundnyerrr.

Hubungan (tidak intim, mungkin) bersama si rebound akan berlangsung seperti couple-couple biasa yang dijumpai di pasaraya. Dapatan dari hasil kajian mungkin juga menunjukkan bahawa sesi dating berlangsung lebih extreme daripada dates yang pernah dilalui bersama kekasih lama – setiap hari tanpa gagal, sehingga dua, tiga pagi – kerana si empunya diri berasakan bahawa dirinya amat tenang bersama si rebound, padahal dia yg takmo balik tidor sebab takmo sedih dibuai-buai kenangan bersama kekasih lama.

Sedar tak sedar, masa pun berlalu dan mulalah kurasakan pudar dalam hatiku rasa cinta yang ada untuk dirimu. Kau punya kulit kering, rambut kau asyik masuk mata je geram la nak tengok dan kau ni tak penah nak paham I kan sekolah cane nk reply mesej, dungu. Padahal dulu eksaited je reply SMS dalam kelas. Ini kerana sebenarnya si empunya diri is now strong enough and completely over the ex, dan si rebound ni dah habis madunyaaaa. So sad. Pastu diorang pun breakup. (Abis dah sep diooo. Eh?) Pastu si rebound yang dah jujur ikhlas tangkap cintun ni pun jumpa rebound lain. Cycle is repeated. Begitulah dunia.

Lepas break mesti ade punye ah rebound ni, kerat ayam weh. Perasan ka tak perasan. Mungkin juga bukan orang. Be it a friend, be it chocolates, a hobby or your sudden aversion to the colour red – skali lagi, kerat ayam weh. Wounds must heal tak kesah lah HOW.

Moral of the storieeee: takde moral. Ikutlah nak berkawan lagu mana pun.

This is Regrettable Procrastination

2011-02-24T13:39:00.003+01:00

A literature review is due tomorrowt but what the hell.

I was browsing like I always do and came across a fact that 2/3 of the Swedish speaks English. Which brings me back to the few days I spent in Stockholm and the first night we were there - asking a bus driver for directions. I remembered him speaking English equivalent to a smashed china teacup but all the same being so helpful that he even left his driver's seat and went down onto the street to show me where to go. Then I remembered the sumpah hensem gila Calvin Klein underwear model-like man behind the counter at the railway station. When we were turning our maps upside down looking for our way to the hostel a really friendly couple approached us and asked "may we help you" and I was so damned touched. Have yet to return the deed to some lucky tourist.

OK homework calls.

Because Who Turns Up Punctual?

2011-02-23T12:39:00.004+01:00

Lateness must be in our blood. Or at least part of our culture. Except for a first day, perhaps, because you will attract just too much attention if you come late on the first day, and it is again part of our culture to strive to be invisible. During days after that things go slack and it is unavoidable to think "Who in the world turns up on the right minute anyway?"

Honestly it is shameful to be late. OK maybe I'm alone in thinking it is. Seriously it doesn't prove anything good. Frankly speaking however I know how awkward you would feel when you are there at the right time. Being at least five minutes late is the right, preferable and acceptable thing to do, and you won't feel out of place then. The VVIPs are also one with the urgent need to be late - they would be considered early if they come within thirty minutes after the scheduled time. Who wants that, hey hey? Who wants to be regarded as the person who doesn't have anything else to do, that they managed excellently to plan their time and settle everything - including preparations and travel time - so that they could arrive on the spot?

Let me tell you a story that happened in 2009. My class had a function, at which we invited the Director of the Goethe-Institut Malaysia. We told him the event will start at 2.30 in the afternoon, so it was on the invitation cards and the flyers. When he came (which was exactly at 2.30pm), only two out of fifteen of us organizers were ready (the rest are still at the hostel) and there was not a single audience in the auditorium. Faces of the lecturers were already scrunched up because of some sour limes they ate earlier ( ok joke is not funny) and I hated it so much because suddenly I had to be the usher, when I was actually busy setting the computer up for the later presentation.

Homaii now I sound like a perasan goody who is never late. Well, I said I am familiar with the awkwardness of being an early bird - which actually is the reason why I dawdle and come late, too.

P/S: Be good and ignore the roses I use for my background. I had no idea why I chose this lady-ish picture in the first place and don't want to look for another now.

P/P/S: I am taking Fundamentals of English at school and (no, we don't learn how to say Good Morning like I first thought we would) was struck to learn that I have been using the perfects and progressives wrongly all this while. Must study it for the tests, however, but always end up filling in the blanks according to what I think - ikut sedap je :)

Kusut

2011-02-22T11:35:00.002+01:00

Yes I changed my shampoo but the problem remains unsolved.

A hermit (not the crab) is perhaps so serene because he doesn't have to deal with people. Maybe I'll try retreating into a cave somewhere. Before my sanity gets torn into rippers.

Because telling people how I feel is like screaming right in the ears of a deaf. Nothing gets done. Everybody wants their own ways. Pretending you don't care what others do and living life the carefree way makes you look stupid and oh no opinions. Btw if you want to fake your way on the comment sections you can read this up: Five tips to help you.

Ddikir

2011-02-02T07:19:00.002+01:00

Nah ambil ini dengar saja-saja.

Di atas ini ialah lagu juara.

Dikir barat ada empat pihak utama ya tuan-tuan dan puan-puan, tok juara (jogho), tukang karut, awak-awak dan pemuzik. Pemuzik itu ada lima pulak - rebana ibu, rebana anak, gong, canang dengan marakas tu nama tradisional dia apa entah. Awak-awak tu ambillah dari sepuluh hingga berpuluh-puluh orang pun tak apa kot (wah awesome juga kalau ada flashmob dikir!)

Semua orang dah tau kot, I join dikir barat untuk kolej. Bak kata seseorang itewww, "Ko ni jadi balaci la, sebab nak stay kat kolej?" Haha. Sorrylah next year I memang tak duduk UM dah okay. Jadi kalau join ape-ape tu memang ikhlas lah dari hati chewahh.

Pasal dikir ini pula. Mula-mula itu kawan-kawan yang registerkan. Diorang join sekali lah, of course. Masa dapat tau tu mmg #$#%# sedikit di dalam hati, afasal pulak ni suke suke je kan! Tapi pergi sajalah walaupun dua bulan pertama dok cakap "weh aku serius nak keluar, weh aku tanak join." Reasons for feeling so? Well, past experiences made me feel apprehensive being around people from the same background.

Heh masa mula-mula training itu pun memang kaki ponteng dahsyat, training Sabtu malam Ahad, habis semua nama kawan Dochland yang ada dipetik sebab mase tu memang orang tengah summer holidays, menipu kata keluar dengan diorang tak sempat balik padahal kita empat orang escape pergi i-City Shaalam pastu balik mengantuk bosan sebab tak ada apa pun kat situ.

Klakor kot bila diingat-ingatkan sebab sekarang ni, kalau takde kitorang masa training, memang tak jalan lah training itew chewaaah.

Haha betul kot. Seorang nyanyi lagu juara, seorang tukang karut, seorang awak-awak paling chargas, seorang lagi kalau tak datang nanti adalah peminat dia cari. ;)

Coach kita tak hensem (kehkehkeh dia tak baca punya) tapi dia sangat awesome berdikir, spontan je babeyh, menyanyi sedap pula itu, sudah join dikir semenjak umurnya 10tahun dan pernah pula buat show die overseas cewahh pujian melambung, tak apalah, respect.

Kita ada dua team kolej, sep jatey ngn sep tino (menyampah kan dengar? Tapi bahasanya kok memang begitu) lepas itu kalau sep tino (selepas ini Team B) training, ade lah Team A datang tengok, nak sesegar angin katanya. :D

Seronok sangat berdikir. Tapi kena belajar, macam tarian, bukannya boleh terus pandai. Tengok orang buat easy measy je terus dapat bunga segala, kita yang terhegeh-hegeh baru nak belajar sungguh jealous perasaannya, tahun depan untuk subjek Ko-K nak masuk berdikir lagi tapi mereka kata, "dah pandai nak buat apa?" Alahai tak faham ke Easy A haha.

Tapi betul juga, tak join perkara baru, tak kenallah dunia baru. Macam sekarang ini. :)

An Empty Void

2011-01-12T13:10:00.005+01:00

We got news today that Hanisa must postpone her studies until next year. Those who visited her yesterday told us that her condition was so bad she need to wear her oxygen mask the whole time she was talking. Her heart was working four times harder, the hole in her heart, earlier estimated to be 2.0 cms, got bigger by 0.7cms in the course of three days.

This is our Hanisa, who in Germany walked 3 kilometres alone after class to buy shoes when we said we want to play football.

Hanisa who gets well with everybody.

Hanisa who is never angry to your face.

Hanisa who laughs heartily at every joke.

Hanisa who does not demand nor ask.

Hanisa who runs and kicks and plays and shoots like badass.

Hanisa who dozes off in class because she couldn't waste her time being bored, and prevents us from being so as we laugh watching her.

Hanisa who loves kids and gets loved back.

Hanisa who can play the piano and guitar despite having small hands.

Hanisa who sings so beautifully.

Hanisa who is so musically talented she can play the rebana ibu after being taught ONCE.

Hanisa who loves the Japanese anime, making everybody love it too.

Hanisa who cried silently leaning on the wall when somebody broke her heart, making me want to hit him.

Hanisa who we didn't know we would love and miss so terribly when she isn't with us.

These things happen.

Ya Allah selamatkanlah Siti Hanisa binti Mansor.

YOU ARE RUDE

2011-01-04T16:07:00.002+01:00

When you spit in front of people.
When you spit in front of people who are eating.
When you giggle and whisper in a lift, even though you are talking about nobody who's present.
When you try tooth and nail to sell your customers things that aren't exactly up to standard.
When you talk to your friend who's standing behind a stranger on an escalator.
When you talk loudly to said friend, condemning someone else in the process.
When you talk to said friend loudly about some other person, and switched abruptly into another language which you know the pitiful person standing between you two won't understand.
When you stare.
When you stare at people and looked away the moment the person noticed and tried to smile at you.
When you didn't return a smile.
When you stop all of a sudden in the middle of a road, or right in front of an entrance.
When you stand in an entrance when you know people are queueing to get the hell out of there.
When you let the door slam into their faces.

Happy New Year 2011!

2011-01-02T05:01:00.003+01:00

I believe everybody feels this way: the 1st of January doesn't have much impact, but the 2nd does. You wake up and thought, oh it's the second day already, how time flies!

A good 2010 wrap-up by Jin Hackman.

Results were out last Wednesday. (-oo-)

Itu sungguh saya kerana membulatkan lubang hidung terhadap sesuatu yang kurang enak.

Setakat mana kamu berusaha, setakat itulah yang kamu akan dapat.

Good Luck.

Hark, Now Who's Talking, Baby!

2010-12-30T04:46:00.005+01:00

Yea you might have guessed this post is about football. My first football infatuation since the good old school days, when Micheal Owen was the sole reason of supporting Liverpool and England.

Congratulations to Malaysia. Siapa yang tak puas hati tu I must repeat, sila makan sampah. Sampai facebook Najib pun dia spam, memang sekolah dalam longkang la tu namanya. Takde la nak kata suke Najib sangat tapi your rudeness makes me want to grab your fugly faces and slam it at the wall to my hearts' content.

We lost the match last night, but get to bring the Cup home. Well now I make it sound like extra luggage. Its disappointing, actually, because, like a friend put it, I wanted Malaysia to win with 0-1 AT THE LEAST but 1-2 was what happened. That dampened the euphoria a little. Plus it's a loss that the second leg is played there. Sumpah rugi gila demmit. But hell we're still proud, we are the champions, baby, first time and all, forget the neighbour's 19 years thirst.

Damn lagu Halimah Jongang just went on TV. Benci woi, terasa. Haha.

Last word about football - the senior team needs to spruce themselves up good and fast, because this team of youngsters have proven that they own the field and the day, too. Work hard and earn your places, boys, forget gossips with the local stars.

Plus apesal Sabda tu menang Most Valuable Player? Waddeeeeeee? We can't live without something valuable, and we sure can't live without KF! He was the man of the match through and through (and I hope for the upcoming 675 matches as well)!

Fuu. I hope this infatuation is short-lived. Letih nak catch up on matches. And 90 minutes is too long, too long. Plus it's a bowler's turn to be my potential boyfriend now, so the lookout's on the bowlers, not footballers! LOL

This is a Delicious Entry.

2010-12-25T08:51:00.007+01:00

I read this in an article in a newspaper.

So psychologists claim that just by imagining eating foods may reduce your appetite for them, and help you with losing weight. This is, of course, contrary to the well-known fact of the sudden ravenous feeling that usually surfaces as we imagine a delicious meal.

For example, imagine this:

OOPS I got it wrong at 'delicious meal'. HAHA. Dosa lah, ngek.

OK tukar yang tak dosa sangat.

Ololooo ololooo. Ai laf yu Shahid Kapoor.

OK OK cukup. Back to the imaginary food consumption. We must imagine food.

So here's food. If you don't like this please Google your own favourite.

This is cordon bleu. (Kenapa teringat Ebnu Holdoon? Oh nein.)

Now start to imagine eating it. Ok Bismillah dulu. Now start. By nibbling it at first. Tasting at first the crunchy, golden-fried breadcrumbs. The sweet and supple chicken meat that seems to ooze deliciousness into your entire mouth. Then taking a bigger bite and closing your eyes while chewing because you can't help it when there's heaven filling your senses. The sweetness of the meat against the salty cheese that melts seductively in your mouth and brought fireworks under your eyelids. Repeating the process over and over, and being grateful all the way for the endless supply.

Now it is stated in the article that after tormenting yourself with this gluttonous imagination, you tend to consume only half of the usual amount you usually consumed. This is because your cravings has been partly satisfied in your sub-concious, thus dulling the after-effect. Of course, the only foods used in the research are morsels of cheese and M&Ms but I believe this applies to heavy meals too.

So the next time you're having a meal, stare at your plate and imagine eating all the happy things on it already before you even start touching them. And observe the result.

p/s: I tried googling makanan lazat at first, because it sounds more delicious than makanan sedap but the first image to appear showed a bunch of dead baby rats on a burger. Bangang.

p/p/s: Despite lack of reference, I wasn't bluffing - check this out @ OMGFacts

I Just Want to Read and This May Be Regarded as a Joke

2010-12-18T11:42:00.002+01:00

Siapa-siapa yang ada English novels yang lama-lama tapi tak mahu baca dah mari-mari hantar ke:

Ezaty Ibrahim,

Lot 192-1,

Jalan Penghulu Mohd Amin,

76300 Sungai Udang, Melaka.

Terima kasih, saya janji baca sampai habis.

Love Like This

2010-12-18T05:56:00.002+01:00

I am seriously in love with my friends. HAHA

I love my friends seriously.

Well that's a good example. I always thought that saying 'I love you' is equal with 'I am in love with you' but there you go, they carry different meanings.

But to this very day I have met two new friends that I am able to love to bits after only meeting them for a single day. I found that they are characteristically alike so maybe that explains why I love the latter so strong, though maybe it's an undeserved privilege.

Or maybe something to be avoided because anyone I love might suffer from unknown stalking activities, but let's leave that out.

Enough with this mushy-mushy stuff. Pelik kot.

Err. But that leaves me with completely nothing to write *about. So peace *out!

P/S: Ever since the "Glitters' episode of How I Met Your Mother
(I heart you Barney) I have been pronouncing 'out' in Canadian accent - as 'oot'. Damn funny ha ha. Ok not so much.

Murni dah selamat, anda bila lagi? ;)

2010-12-11T11:24:00.004+01:00

Nilah Murni yang aku tak kasi kawin tu. haha. Dah selamat juga akhirnya.

Sekarang musim schoolmates kahwin. Ramai yang dah habis belajar tahun lepas. Maklumlah da tinggal sekolah sudah lima tahun. Maka sasaran seterusnya; kahwin. Sonang yo den tengok. Xyah pun kalut-kalut kumpul duit macam alasan orang zaman sekarang. Meriah je pun, baju plak lawa-lawa sngoti.

Dalam kereta berjalan pulang terpikir-pikir mungkin lagi dua tahun giliran GMI-mates pulak yang kawin. Which brings me to think kalau ada yang kahwin di Sarawak cane nak pegi? Kena jimat untuk tiket flight dari sekarang ke hahaha. Pastu pikir lagi eh kalau yang kat Serawak tu mesti la yang berkerjaya, jadinya konfirm lah lambat so xyah risau dulu~ :D

Random Facts about

2010-12-06T14:19:00.004+01:00

Emak.

Friends told me I took after my mother not in looks but in attitude. I beg to differ since my mother is a (quite) soft-spoken person and is not one to express her own true feelings.

Anyways we share one thing in common - we both have the same clown instinct.

(which btw reminded me of a close friends' words - that particular guy liked to see me as a clown ONLY, he will never like me in ways other than that. well, i deal with heartbreaks by kicking them hard).

Back to my mother.

This is her latest picture.

Drama Mydin bersama Remy Ishak. Kah kah. My siblings and I were making fun of the picture and emak came over, did as if she was running alongside before asking us to snap a photo of her. And played well along when my sister told her to look afraid. Haha.

My mother had this Nokia with a simple camera and she loved it to bits. The one thing she would bring anywhere. Doesn't matter if she forgot her purse - her camera she won't leave behind. And if you're away she will MMS the pictures to you so you will be able to join in the fun.

Here's another picture of emak.

When asked about the pose she told us "I was pretending to be afraid".

But I think all mothers are funny. They joke at things you didn't expect. Go on, ask your mother a random question and prepare to be amused. :)

Live cardboard people!

2010-12-03T14:27:00.004+01:00

this is big danbo and she's overcoming an obstacle. more here http://www.antontang.com/

funny how the most unexpected of beings turn out to be female. i used to think enid blyton was a man. (or maybe that was because i was too young to understand that enid is feminine). JK Rowling didn't let her books get published with her first name on it because she was afraid nobody would buy them (if people know a woman wrote it). i dont know if her trick works when the books first sold, but she's now richer than the queen herself so maybe the gender-hiding does play a role.

i wrote more crap than anybody i know. blocking the blog was an idea to prevent being embarassed.

this is for the anonymous.

2010-10-04T08:27:00.004+02:00

i know you read my blog.

so now please read carefully.

stop uploading my pictures on to your facebook account; i know you still do. you are just embarrassing yourself.

you didn't live in my shadows. you yourself are drawing them around you.

so erase them and start anew.

i want my picture album back, so return it. you'd think of a way how.

i don't want to contact you for it, because if i do, i'd have done it since long ago.

i will never contact you.

you know i have a lot of problems, my life is a mess so please don't add to it.

stop violating my rights as an existing human.

i am sad. and scared. you are not a happy thought and never will be. you are like a gripping hand round the neck and i dread you like dreading seeing dead bodies.

you are the reason when i look over my shoulders in fear.

you are the reason when i cringe

you are the reason i hide my face.

so please ease me of this misery.

I miss being sweet.

2010-09-20T13:44:00.002+02:00

adik-adik yang belum habis sekolah yang takde lesen tu tak payah la nak mengada-ngada bawak motor pusing kampung nak pegi minum pukul dua tiga pagi, kau tu menyusahkan orang je fungsi kau kat dunia ni. belum reti ape2 lagi dah besau kepala kau nak eksyen kat orang konon2 kau pandai bawak moto la keta la. nampak polis kau takut, nak lari, pastu jatuh, eksiden mati kang mak ayah kau meraung kat tepi jalan salahkan orang yang langgau. kau tu hingus kau kat baju mak kau pon belum kering lagi, pegang handle pon terhegeh-hegeh ade hati nk bawak kat jalan raya, bile dah langgau, pecahkan cemin kete orang pandai plak panggil mak engkau la sedara la ketua kampung la mintak tolong merayu kat engkau, taknak kasi orang report polis sebab ngko tu mangkok isi sampah tade lesen. patutnye sume budak yg mcm engkau ni kena lempang je kuat2 bagi bersembur darah kat mulut baru kau nak reti agaknye.

sape2 yang ade adik ke abang ke yang takde lesen tp gatal sangat tungau dia nak drive ke nak apa, kau tolak je kepala dia kuat2 laju2 bagi dia reti. sape yang takde lesen tu pegi amik lesen!

je t'aime, rsvp, merci boucoup!

2010-09-14T09:47:00.002+02:00

one said i am annoying.

and he's not the first to say it.

both of them doesn't mean it, I KNOW, but there's always at least a teeny weeny bit of truth in what people said.

and i know that much is true, because sometimes, i even annoy me. i am stupid and shallow and doesn't think too much before doing anything. i am difficult, i talk a lot and demand every effort from those who are misfortunate enough to be in my surroundings.

and for that, i am sorry.

here i sincerely thank Allah for the friends i have, because they bear with me so much. i love them seeeeriously.

selamat kembali ke sekolah.

crazes

2010-08-11T16:14:00.003+02:00

facebook shops i like. tags / quizzes / games addictions i can bear with. stalkers are common. hell, i can even tolerate oh-it's-already-twenty-minutes-must-update-my-status-or-post-a-link posts on the homepage. i can take all that. i accept that we all are different kinds of amazing people with hidden (or still vague) talents. but model competitions? pathetic wannabes who camWHORED, pitifully edit the photos with your SonyEricsson camera phones or online at picnik.com and have your skin all cleared up with Photoscape so the result is a photo taken during mosquito fogging and you expect poor us (who you tagged on your nose) to vote you? oh my oh my. please go take a spoon and knock it repeatedly on your heads until you dent either one of the two.

and the most annoying thing is that the uglier ones get all the votes because they practically pasted their faces on every surface and begged friends to vote - and we, being courteous Malaysians, did. if u did, uh, well, ah nevermind, just please don't like the picture of the blonde-haired, blue eyed, full-lipped shirtless malay GUY. when i saw him i went "babi*, kau gay ke?" argh!!

SPCA and zoo volunteers, Readers*, blood donations - do correct me if i'm wrong, but after DSLR, it seems like volunteer work is that 'thang' amongst youngsters right now. of course, it's fun and satisfactory. imagine watching that granny's face break into a smile when she sees that we are about to spend time with her. it's good for the mankind, dapat pahala bla bla bla, but will this enthusiasm die away too, sometime?

*Readers (UM) is a volunteer group serving blind students. they help these unfortunates in their work; for example read, look for books, and type.

Life is Miserable.

2010-08-08T12:37:00.002+02:00

the longer you live, the more you want to do, the more problems you have. escaping is an unreachable dream, made impossible simply by the fact that you must continue on living. so you are left with not a single choice but to tackle it headlong. and who cares if you fracture your skull in the process? people might throw a glance or make a double-take, but nobody triple-checks. there are just too many things happening in the world to distract their attention from you. in a fraction of a second you become anonymous again, a speck of dust.

well maybe there exist some people who holds you significant. family - you can't cut through blood with the sharpest knife. they loyally bear with you, and in exchange for that you willingly forget their blunders and laugh at their jokes. but with friends for example, the simplest of things could be unforgivable. that was the time you unintentionally forgot to return a call for a month (or it could be that you are too stupid and thought facebook was enough), or kept things you borrowed for too long - if the time wasn't right, the white mistakes might be just the right amount of antimatter that literally sucks things and swallow them whole. nobody knew exactly why but suddenly you turn into a pitiful glob of mud which disgusts, but clings so hard it is unable to shake off. so what is to do in this situation? do you forcefully rip yourself off the piece of cloth, or do you recline into the folds so you could pretend you are invisible? to decide is crucial, because you won't want the saddest thing to happen - when they get rid of the crusted piece of earth with a simple flick of the finger. by this time all you get to see is their backs, turned on you.

Keseronokan (draft from 27th May 2010)

2010-08-08T01:41:00.000+02:00

Jumpa the legendary abang Bob GMi Cafe on Facebook. Sampai harini tak paham nape orang panggil warung buruk tu cafe, bunyi mcm high class gila. Tp last2 panggil kedai abg Bob jgk sbb dia bukannye tokey pon. Masih terngiang-ngiang lagi sedapnye sambal belacan lawan nasi putih dgn ayam goreng dan sup kosong, n mcmane kite selalu berdilema samada nak telur dadar ke tak, sbb kalau ade telur dadar penuh tepung, dia jadi mahal 50sen. Abang Bob tak penah lekang senyum, tak kira la masa orang duk panggil2 dia tak sabar ataupun masa dia kompelin gaji dia sikit. Ooops tu rahsia, syytt :)

Abang Bob masih lagi berniaga, cumanye kedai dia bukan la dekat tepi pagar da, tp depan masjid baru GMi, bersih putih bersinar2. Dulu masa datang, nasi che we belum naik harga, lagipun mase tu kena belanja, skrg tak tau la :P

taknak ckp tige hari!

2010-07-31T10:23:00.002+02:00

tsk tsk MERAJUK MERAJUK MERAJUK merajuk merajuk

merajuk merajuk merajuk tsk tsk tsk

itu pon tak bagi. nak gi pulau je, bukannye nak pegi bali masuk disko pon huih huih

MERAJUK

MERAJUKKKK

MERAJUKKKKKKK

merajuk merajuk merajuk merajuk merajuk merajuk merajuk merajuk merajuk merajukmerajuk merajuk merajuk merajuk merajuk merajuk merajuk merajuk merajuk merajukmerajuk merajuk merajuk merajuk merajukmerajuk merajuk merajuk merajuk merajukmerajuk merajuk merajuk merajuk merajuk merajuk merajuk merajuk merajuk merajukmerajuk merajuk merajuk merajuk merajuk merajuk merajuk merajuk merajuk merajuk merajuk merajuk merajuk merajuk merajukmerajuk merajuk merajuk merajuk merajukmerajuk merajuk merajuk merajuk merajukmerajuk merajuk merajuk merajuk merajukmerajuk merajuk merajuk merajuk merajukmerajuk merajuk merajuk merajuk merajukmerajuk merajuk merajuk merajuk merajukmerajuk merajuk merajuk merajuk merajuk merajuk merajuk merajuk merajuk merajuk merajuk merajuk merajuk merajuk merajukmerajuk merajuk merajuk merajuk merajukmerajuk merajuk merajuk merajuk merajukmerajuk merajuk merajuk merajuk merajukmerajuk merajuk merajuk merajuk merajukmerajuk merajuk merajuk merajuk merajukmerajuk merajuk merajuk merajuk merajuk merajuk merajuk merajuk merajuk merajuk merajuk merajuk merajuk merajuk merajuk merajuk merajuk merajuk merajuk merajukmerajuk merajuk merajuk merajuk merajukmerajuk merajuk merajuk merajuk merajukmerajuk merajuk merajuk merajuk merajukmerajuk merajuk merajuk merajuk merajukmerajuk merajuk merajuk merajuk merajukmerajuk merajuk merajuk merajuk merajukmerajuk merajuk merajuk merajuk merajuk wargh!!

tradisi kecemerlangan, menepati wawasan

2010-07-30T17:36:00.004+02:00

when you write something, you'll only know what to put first when you've written the end.

hari ini di kolej kediaman ke 12 merangkap hostelku ade budak meninggal, jatuh dari tingkat lima. jatuh masa lompat balkoni nak ke bilik sebelah. seram sejuk dibuatnya. pastu gatal pegi tgk gambar plak tu. zaman gmi dulu pun, selalu lompat ke rumah sebelah punya balkoni sebab takde kunci. faham sgt situasi arwah mcmne, ramai je org buat mcm tu, tp dah ajalnya dia, tak pakai spek maka jatuh. arwah sempat mengucap katanya. padanlah polis ramai hari ni. van polis bawa mayat lalu depan mata, nampaklah how unceremonious they dump the body in the back of the van.

al fatihah untuk adik. :(

kuranglah lagi sorang belia harapan bangsa. tapi tak nafi, kat UM mmg banyak. this is something to be expected anyway, it IS the best university in the country. number one. serius rasa intimidated, by the size, by the way things work, by the students. i couldnt help thinking "ni could be one bakal menteri someday" each time i see a students' representative. lagi sekali insecurity issue, mereka bagus bagus belaka!

somebody slap me so i can be better than courage the cowardly dog.

and there's always a WHOLE lot going on, i dont think anybody have enough breath to catch up. *that sounds so stupid, i know 'out of breath' exists but am unable to rephrase it now* like, next week from monday to thursday (2nd to 5th of August from 11am to 10pm) ada mobile fair - although takdak la besar mana - right at the car park in fronta kolej 12 selling gadgets with up to 70% discount. laptops, handys, cameras are up for grabs. tp jgn tanya la made in china ka dak, i dont know.

okayy. besok mak nak datang. nak tgk adik jantanku yang seorang itu kat kyuem lembah beringin. baru nk bawak budak tu jalan KL (proses merosakkan imam muda sg udang XD). *dulu org skola kl mak tade pon nk dtg2 kl tgk org, mentang2 la gmi dekat dgn stesen lrt, manjang nk suro balik melaka je * tp xpe la, bole beli baju raya wee~

ok i still dont know what to put first. have a happy weekend, people!

tiru topik mun yg pasal dependent2 tu.

2010-07-27T12:26:00.003+02:00

sbb perasaannye sama je. jadi dependent. xmo kua sorang. mesti nk at least tige org. (sbb kalau kelu berkata-kata bole ade yg ketiga menyelamatkan keadaan XD) nk pegi makan pon takmo sorang. kat dochland dulu bole je pegi sana sini naik tren seekor diri, jumpe org mabuk busuk yg ikut pindah seat mase aku pindah (sheesh) pun tak serik serik lagi tapi bila kat sini nk turun beli nasik pon xmo sorang2. padahal sini kan kampung halaman, bole ckp melayu, bayar guna ringgit, org lain lgsg x heran lgsg x racist pon. nk pegi kedai xyah ckp la, lagi la berdegup-degup jantung. tempat ni besar sgt agaknye. ramai sgt org. perut pun besar, lagi la rase insecure :P serius ni, kritikal. rimas la kalau nk gi mane2 kena ajak orang, kena gerak ramai2. blum cite lagi org tu rimas asyik kena ajak je ye tidak?

kalau x cuba, mane nk tau. mane nk berani kalau tak buat. pstu kalau buat sekali, buat dua kali, tiga kali, baru la boleh jadi biasa.

tp nk buat yg 1st time tu la yg paling payahhhhh.

Operasi Stalker

2010-07-25T17:54:00.002+02:00

'mestila i ade. possible ke sekarang utk tak ade facebook?' kate seseorang.

actually, it IS possible. tak kesah pon actually tade fb, kalau ko jenis yang tak kesah tertinggal satu dua private jokes antara kawan2. tapi sbb ramai yang kata facebook itu hampir menjadi perkara wajib, maka ia menjadi sangat senang skrg utk menyetalk orang, sbb sume orang ade fb. ngehe :D

eventho tak kenal orang tu sapa. u just know he is a somebody *yes it's a he, im not gay* but absolutely nothing else, not even his name. u can still find him within fifteen minutes on fb. tapi susah lah. nk tanya orang, malu. kena la bukak page sana bukak page sini. google itu ini. tgk gambar berkeping keping nk cari tag. ingat senang? n after all the hard work, the satisfaction upon seeing his page load before you ... priceless.

n then u begin to be his most frequent visitor. kalau dia letak hit counter kat profile mmg la senang2 je naik seratus dalam seminggu. kalau ade blog, huh, tiap2 post pun bace. siap analyze gaya tulisan, dia suka guna short forms ke tak (ini sgt penting ok), english dia ok ke tak XD pastu kompem2 la nk tgk gambar. kalau ade 400 pon tgk jgk satu2 dgn tade miss sekeping pun. tido lambat pon takpeee. then hesitate, nak add fren ke tak? last last tekan jugak request. pastu comes the agonizing wait. konon2 tak mau bukak page dia sehari sebab takmo tgk dia da approve ke belum (pdhal ade je notification kuar nnt). sehari. dua hari. tak approve jgk. start la operasi maki plak. *sombong mcm beskal buruk!bajet hot!* hahahha. padahal paham je nape dia tanak approve, da nama pon tak kenal kan. sendiri pon buat gitu jgk. *note to those who've been rejected, ye, sorryyy* anyways. lepas maki, sambung balik kekecewaan. namun operasi stalk masih lagi dijalankan tanpa gagal.

hey, i only add and stalk those who are worth it. yg kacak bergaya dan cantik menawan sahaja. kalau tgh mengandung mesti anak aku kuar besok jadi lawa.*hey thats not even a bad idea.*

so be a good sport, and approve me. XD

p/s:two posts in one day, though of no value still is an improvement.

none. though it would help if you approve my friend request on facebook

2010-07-25T10:49:00.004+02:00

we are advised to jot down our thoughts on pieces of paper so that it won't clutter our minds. i find it irritating, really, because it's always hard to find a pen at hand when i thought of something, and my handphone's always out of reach every single time.

on friday i was cleaning my ears (something i do everytime i got out fromthe showers, mind you) when i thought the little piece of cotton bud got stuck in my ear. well, one end of the stick was empty. i really thought so. i tried to fork it out but i could feel it went in deeper. so i went to friends for help and they told me they saw nothing, and we were rushing to class and there was nothing i could do about it at that time.

i was freaking paranoid the whole day all through class, and i could simply feel the bud in my ear everytime i swallowed.

that afternoon i went back and saw the piece of cotton sitting serenely on my bed, white and guiltless.

kim kardashian named her chihuahua princess. i know its a girl, but that's so uncreative.

there's just no end to the tutorials. and i only have two assignments at the moment but they freaking nag at the back of my mind and it's making me uneasy.

sunday morning rain doesn't fall, but in the afternoon it does. and coffee is always heavenly.

The Eye Sees What You Want It to See

2010-06-25T17:11:00.005+02:00

there was a boy who said we all are actually wearing crosses, almost every day. when asked, he said, the buttons on a shirt (ones with breast pockets especially) resembles a cross. Like this one:

See? I don't.

I must say, he had a very vivid imagination. I'm not saying everybody is nice and harmless. But you can't live while seeing things inside your head.

Nak tepuk dada kuat2 kasi luruh jantung, baru lega kot.

2010-05-26T13:48:00.001+02:00

Was wäre, wenn ...

2010-05-25T19:33:00.002+02:00

Im Leben geht es um zwei Dinge. Hoffnung und Entscheidungen. Manche nennen es Träume, manche Ziele. Hoffnungen treiben einen an. Die Hoffnung, sich mal ein Auto leisten können, den besten Job zu bekommen, oder vielleicht etwas Ruhm zu ergattern. Auf jeden Fall die Hoffnung auf die Liebe eines Lebens. Doch hoffen allein genügt nicht. Um sich zu verwirklichen, muss man Entscheidungen treffen. Das steht auf der anderen Seite der Gleichung. Aber entscheiden tun die wenigsten im Leben. Die übrigen lehnen sich entspannt in ihrem Kinosessel zurück und sehen zu, wie die Helden auf der Leinwand die Entscheidungen treffen, die sie sich selbst nicht zu fällen trauen. Kaum einer bricht zu einer Reise ins Ungewisse auf. Wir brüllen dem Hauptdarsteller des Films zu, er solle endlich seinen gut bezahlten Job kündigen, um den verborgenen Schatz in der Wüste zu suchen. Im wahren Leben würden wir selbst das nicht tun. Wir würden warten, bis jemand uns etwas gäbe. Bis jemand anders was für uns mächte. Klagen würden das Einzige sein, was wir machen.

Wäre es nicht schön, wenn wir entschieden hätten?

Der langsamste, der sein Ziel nur nicht aus den Augen verliert, geht immer noch geschwinder als der, der ohne Ziel herumirrt. (Gotthold Ephraim Lessing)

Viel Erfolg.

Vent Number Two

2010-04-29T13:16:00.005+02:00

Hey that last post was my 100th! Tak perasan pon.

Well I still have 43 minutes left before we go. And was facebooking like I always did. Came across a post from a colleague xxx :P

Original story here. Well I don't know if it was authentic, I trust nothing these days but you get an overview.

Even the stupidest person can imagine the situation as such: Aminulrasyid kuar nk pegi macha, bwk keta akak dia, dia tade lesen, nampak polis dia takut, pstu dia pun nk cabut. Polis nampak dia nak lari, egt dia criminal, n upon stopping him to get away they shoot, kena tayar, kena kepala, tak sengaja.

Everybody can get all worked up because of a misunderstanding. The police misunderstood the boy as a criminal. Even the parang they found in the car pun jadi suspect. Kakak dia pegi menebas kot petang tu, mana tau. Masalah betul. People misunderstood the police, saying they are all corrupt and whatnots, polis jahat pukul orang. Honestly kalau nak depend on opinions maknanye semua orang kat dunia ni jahat lah, takde exception.

I wasn't there, you weren't there, we didn't know what REALLY happened, so why nk bising2? Yang kecoh sangat tu, korg nmpk ke apa jadi, betul ke polis tu pijak kawannye si arwah? Bosan la korang. Pastu parti tu parti ni plak bising, dah campur hal politik pulak. Clicheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee. Menggeliat panas arwah dalam kubur. Al-Fatihah.

p/s: hebat plak polis tu tembak tepat-tepat. dlm movie pon, slalu je tak kena

I'd Say Anything ...

2010-04-29T10:17:00.003+02:00

... to get to stay here longer. Haha.

Kitorang nak pindah dah, in less than four hours, and I'm still not done with the packing. Any time now the bags are going to burst at the seams from all the load. I couldn't understand it really. I practically put off shopping every weekend to avoid schlepping so much when it's time to move. And I posted some 20kgs of stuff away too. Tapi banyak jugak. Hiskk

In the first six months of our stay in Germany we did language courses. German at class, German at home, German on the streets... The only time I get to speak Malay is the time I spent online (which is quite a lot anyway). And it's not literally speaking either, more towards typing, but still I get to THINK in Malay, which is a relief.

Anyways. We did an exam after those six months, and moved to Munich. Here we have language courses no more, we did seminars they usually gave to already qualified teachers. We do projects, mostly in museums, at parks, at an old-folks' home, and one time in front of the university, where you have to jump on unsuspecting students coming out from their lectures and interview them about the student community that went against the Nazis...

We have to learn all the words that are connected to the theme we are doing that week. We did all-expenses-paid-except-if-you-want-to-buy-magnets daytrips to Chiemsee and Salzburg. We visited practically every museum in Munich, and the Botanical Garden too. A teacher should know how everything works, so we visited a newspaper printing factory, the BMW Museum and the Bavarian Film City. Dayang, the trip to Augsburg was cancelled, I wanted to go there by myself but there just wasn't time, sorry ye laling :)

So the point of our stay in Munich is that we get to experience Germany not only on the surface, but deeply too. At the same time we learnt some methodics and didactics (how do you spell it in english?) for our future careers as human engineers. Being a teacher is irritatingly hard, you have to have a complete control of yourself, which is REALLY not my thing, if you know me. Haha. But then you have a reason to wear lipsticks to work, because you want to attract your students' attention to what you are saying. :) they say it's an unconcious thing, but i just don't think so. :P

Everything that begins must have an end, (well, except for Allah SWT) so now we are again starting a new phase. I'm looking forward to Goettingen, because then I don't have to listen to this annoying ringtone of my host grandmother's friggin telephone which rings at least once every freakin 15minutes! And if she's out and I'm in my room, I won't hear the ringing but the message the caller is leaving afterwards, which will make me run out to see who is talking in the entrance hall. Who says old ladies aren't socialites? Huh.

No, no, seriously. Goettingen is a small town smack in the middle of Germany. Go Google, thank you. We get to play football! Lets pray I won't be hyperventilating after 5 minutes.

TSCHAU!

Correction

2010-04-28T21:38:00.002+02:00

i meant RUYUNG in the last post. not REBUNG. :p

I Hate Goodbyes.

2010-04-27T16:24:00.001+02:00

Kalau tak nak berpisah, jangan bertemu.

Tapi mane boleh. Nak duduk dalam gua ke. Takyah keluar rumah, tak payah pergi mana-mana tak payah jumpa siapa-siapa. Takpun jumpa dua minit tepi jalan. Very the unpersonal.

Benda yang tak ada tak payah diingat-ingat.

Duduk sini bising nk makan karipap, nk mkn ubi ketuk, nk makan McDonald's. Ayah Pin (hahaha) cakap bole je makan kat sini, tapi takmau la, perut bergelora bila teringat mendalah tu tak sembelih. Mengomel sana-sini, orang Kedah ckp lapar _____ (isi nama makanan). Eh, apesal sume pasal makanan? :D
Nanti da balik bising lagi panas la, nk mkn bauerbrot, kecoh cari kentang rebus tetiap kali nak makan.

Kalau tak dipecah kan rebung mana nak dapat sagunya.

Takde kena mengena pon. Saje nk tulis.

There's a first time for everything.

But it doesn't mean there's a second time. When it does happen, well, itu maknanye that's the first time that event will happen to you twice. Hehe.

Barang yang lepas, hai jangan dikenang

Kalau dikenang, meracun diri. Tapi perlukah menjadi amnesia. Dan macammane pon lupekan, kesannye tetap ade, walaupun kite tak realise. Mana nak erase kesan? Bukan tulis pakai pensil. Lagi-lagi kalau tak perasan, tetiba orang lain yang cakap, adeh terus sakit perut.

Khamis ni pindah lagi.

Just when we started to get used to this city. Takmau pegi Göttingen. I don't like small towns. Nanti the only available Freizeitmöglichkeit ialah bersenam. Iskk

Beli buku banyak2 nanti susah plak nak pindah, download free eBook je la :)

2010-04-17T19:48:00.002+02:00

Random extracts:

A guy telling a dog off

... who is gazing a whippet straight in the eyes and saying, "Put your paws on the floor. Step away from the humans."...

Well, it was funny.

A lot is going through my mind

2010-04-14T09:02:00.004+02:00

Last year of the A-levels I went movie watching with my younger siblings kat KL. Mase tu Aiman bosan duk GMI so dia kata dia pon nk ikut, n sebab aku macho aku bwk la dia skali. Lagipon dia ade keta jadi senang nk transport anak2 ayam :D Kitorang tgk cerita ni:The story was, well, childish. Bayangkan macamane Aiman menderita. HAHAHA. And that made me laugh while I was brushing my teeth.

I hate Munich. The town is home to buildings aged more than 400 years old which are still preserved in all its majesty. You go in the big wooden doors, go through the enormous entrance hall and up the stairs (they're all built the same way), rub the noses of the lions flanking the stairways for luck, walk with the tips of your fingers touching the walls (well, because you are alone and you feel a little bit insecure) and then you start to think about all the Judith McNaught's novels and ever little bit of Jane Eyre you ever read. And that makes you yearn for something unreachable. Solution? Go to the window look out at the cars passing. That'll pull you back to reality.

Protection. (I'm not talking about condoms, I'm talking about knights in shining armors) well it's lame. Isn't this the era of emancipation, the age of feminism? So why would people bother so much as to escort somebody through two train stations? Is it the fault of the girl who got pulled by drunken boys and couldn't free herself? And why was she the target anyway?

Edward Morike (with an umlaut) said we must always have something to look forward to.

Hey, I can't help it if I stand in a dark room and stare for a long time at books really, really old they had to be kept in aquariums with their own ventilators. My hand was practically ITCHING to touch its leaf and see it crumple between my fingers (hyperventilate. iskk)

old school

2010-04-11T13:29:00.003+02:00

we managed to get in contact with classmates from year six. everybody's so excited, talking about a reunion, reminiscing old habits and trying their best to remember how did the others look like. twas btw funny to see how much we have changed, and how much we never changed. a friend, with whom i always quarrelled (except on the day we got our UPSR results :P) still manages to get on my nerves today, ten years later. grr. pegilah kau, hish. i felt small and grinny (is there such a thing as grinny?) like i did before when i was eleven years old. by the way i used to be quite small, too

anyway all these talk brings back the memories. and since this is the month of april let me tell you a story that happened in 1999 in the same month.

i was naughty and stubborn. but not so much, i was a prefect, and i came in late a lot of times, and that quite sums it up. one time i didn't pass up my bahasa melayu grammar book for, say, three times in a row, and the teacher wasn't happy with that. so i was called up to the front with another girl (twas you kan, hasanah?). the teacher started to bla bla bla about how the UPSR is coming and i was so naughty and do you really want to take the exam, or do you want to stay another year in standard six? (because i skipped the fourth year of primary school)

then (i quite forgot how it really went) she got all worked up and all of a sudden slapped me in the face. repeatedly. on both cheeks. because of a flimsy exercise book. then she remembered that she was also scolding another girl and slapped her too, one time only okay, after a second's hesitation. i can practically see the class drawing their breaths in shock, and honestly, i didn't see it coming. i mean, i was eleven. what do i know about the ups and downs of a woman's world?

a few days later she told me my father came to school and told her off, and that i was a tell-tale and an arrogant snob. you complete cow. i wouldn't tell such an embarassing story to anyone. my mother was teaching in the same school, and you told her yourself you slapped me, and what do you expect? i remember quite well that i did NOT tell my father, or any family members either. i didn't know he came to school either! you are a COWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW

so anyway. i NEVER pass up my book after that. and i am writing this to warn those old classmates that we don't need any teachers in our reunion. i know a grudge is unhealthy but what the hell. she ruined all the memories of primary school.

I hate dentists.

2010-03-30T21:29:00.002+02:00

I took out the stitches this morning. This evening I was brushing my teeth and felt something unfamiliar at the place where my upper left wisdom tooth should be residing happily before it was forced to premature extinction.

there is a broken piece of teeth there.

a remnant of something that would have never been there.

and the dentistS didn't see it.

I hate them. If my future husband is a dentist he'd better start thinking of another career possibility, because I just might hate him.

Since I Friggin Can't Talk, I'll Write

2010-03-25T19:55:00.003+01:00

So at my first weekend at Munich I did nothing, I spent two whole days in bed because my wisdom tooth, which by the way is quite stupid, was really painful. The teacher and the host grandmother pitied me and told me to go see a doctor. I didn't want to at first, the pain had already subsided by then, but the next day it started to throb again that I panicked and went to the dentist.

So the all-busy dentist told me I must get my four wisdom teeth operated. ALL FOUR! The first appointment will be in two weeks, which was quite ridiculous, really, because by then I didn't feel any pain at all. But she was the dentist, and I could not bear the thought of turning restlessly in bed in agony, and depending on painkillers. So I said OK, we'll operate. The first operation was last Tuesday.

I thought it will be easy. The dentist promised it would not take longer than half an hour, so what harm could be done in a half hour? My appointment was at eleven, and I was called in at 12:30. So much for the punctuality. He greeted me with "Feeling a little nervous now, huh?" And I merely shrugged, I wasn't nervous, I SIMPLY DIDN'T KNOW WHAT WAS TO COME.

So they started with an anastasia, I don't care how it was spelled. All went numb. He cut open my gum, the helper started to use the sucking straw to clean the insides of my mouth. Boy was I naive. I thought she was cleaning saliva away. She was sucking away blood, for God's sake! And she used some stick to keep my mouth open, and scratched the side of my mouth.

He played around with my gum a little. Then he told me my tooth was stubborn, and started to use some sort of sawing machine to cut away the bone that stopped my tooth from going out. And sawed and sawed away, applying force as he did that. I was lying there looking at the two faces crouching over me concentrating on my stubborn tooth, and I thought, this was just like in the movies. Then he started to pull it out, and the tooth was still stubborn so he was all but holding on to my head to yank it away. The tooth "jumped out" (quoting him) and his shirt got all dirty with my blood. Serves you right. But I was so nervous I laughed.

Then he started on the upper wisdom tooth which was actually harmless. This is "more difficult, because I couldn't see it properly" and he started to turn my head around, repeating the process. Torture was shorter, thank God. Then he started to sew it up. I was like, who in the world sew up gums?!! But since he was working with my mouth I could not speak. I must go there again to take the stitches out.

After the operation I was so brave I went with the class to BMW-Welt, we had a guided tour there. But halfway through the anastasia was wearing off and I started to hold on to walls. So I went back home.

I woke up on Wednesday with a pillow dirtied with blood. And a big cheek. This is no joke, okay, I already got big cheeks and the swelling didn't help. I skipped class, they were doing charity work, going to a Lebensmittelspende and a centre for help to the homeless. In the afternoon it was a visit to an old-folks home, I missed out the fun. BTW do you know that they actually collect foods that are already past expired date, but still edible, to give away? One of the receiving ends was schools, and I thought, so this is why we got crap foods.

You know Bell's Palsy, right? You know how the face got senget. Same thing here, I have a non-symmetrical face. Anyway. I don't feel well at all. I have diarrhoea, from the different sorts of medicaments I took. I shivered from cold on a bright sunny spring day, and caught a fever. It was funny, actually, sitting there at KFC dozing off to sleep while shivering like I have the demam kura. Haha. And I am freaking HUNGRY!

Jemputlah Datang Saya Kahwin

2010-03-15T21:23:00.002+01:00

semangat crite kawin smlm. balik pun semangat google gambar konon nk inspirasi. last last jumpa satu je

Go Stand at Marienplatz

2010-03-05T09:04:00.002+01:00

at any one point, look straight ahead and don't turn your head. In 15 minutes you will be able to see at least four cute guys with hairstyles that really match your taste! Four! This means you have an average chance of meeting a guy every 3 minutes.

Sorry for being so mundane and narrow-minded, but isn't the world a happy place? :)

This applies to everything:

2010-02-22T12:46:00.002+01:00

Until you find The One, you do lots and lots of tryouts.

*Not only in matters of clothes

Ostrich Moments

2010-02-05T23:07:00.002+01:00

Raya Osnabruck 20 September.

Rumah Kak Noor. Meja makan. Baju oren. Minum air oren. Ambik gambar angkat gelas. Sekali anak kak Noor tegur. Wah, baju sama dengan jus. Cakap Deutsch. Balas; gagap. Err.

Minum air lah, cover.

Classroom, last month.

Datang lambat. Terpaksa duduk depan sekali. Belajar grammar. Berangan-angan. Tiba-tiba. Cikgu tanye ADUSO apa? Jawab kompiden. Cikgu tanye mana letak verb? Jawab laju-laju. Eh, salah la! Err. Segan, segan.

Tangan automatis capai cawan dan minum kopi sejuk yang tinggal separuh.

Kulturbüro, in der Pause.

Bosan. Berlegar-legar cari member nak berborak. Jumpa mangsa. Start ayat cliche - tanya asal mana, cuaca hari ni asyik la snow, kat Malaysia takde snow, sentiasa 28°C. Then awkward pause. Takde idea dah. We look around at other people talking festively.

Di tangan ada cawan. Minum air lagi.

Stockholm - achtzehn Mal verknallt :)

2010-02-02T18:13:00.003+01:00

Stockholm - Lapan belas kali jatuh cinta :)

You should NOT go to Sweden during winter. Well, -13 degrees wasn't that bad anyway, you might've experienced colder nights, but muddling your way like a penguin through the thick snow prevented you from really seeing the city.

This trip was quite spontaneous. We jumped on the first available opportunity for a getaway weekend (Funny, kat Malaysia asal cuti je nak balik rumah, kat sini, asal cuti je xmau duduk rumah). We didn't plan anything. Absolutely nothing. I bought the tickets and booked the rooms, and that's all. Armed only with the knowledge that it's very, very cold there, we flew to Sweden.

Finding the way to the hostel took an hour and a half. We spend a rushed hour just trying to get hold of tickets and find the bus station. We climbed in "Pakcik, we need to get to Skeppsholmen."

"You got the wrong bus, this is number 56, you need the 65." Sheesh. Blame it on the German way of reading numbers. "So where do we take the bus?" I persistently ask. The driver tried to explain, his English was mediocre "On the other side of the road, come, I'll show you" and he actually got out of the bus, brought us to a junction and I was so grateful I forgot all my English grammar. :)

Not worth the fuss, anyway - we had already missed the last bus. So we had to take the underground. Before that, a study of the free maps we took at Information is a must - the underground station is a good 15 minutes walk from the hostel.

Ah, latte macchiato dulu sepam. Plus abang yang keje SJ counter tu really is Burberry material - my latte tastes like caramel. Slurrp. Dark hair falling into eyes - didn't they say Sweden had Europe-famous beautiful girls? Well, the men looks delicious too. :P

From the subway we had to - again - study the map under street lights, and suprisingly a Swedish couple came by asking "Do you guys need any help?" and then explained, really detailed, on how we could get there. The helpfulness was amazing, I was touched.

So finally we got there. A pakcik was at the counter and at the moment he said "Hej," (pronounced 'hey', which means hello) so friendly and warm like drops of honey I fell in love. For the fourth time that night.

On the first day we went to the Old Town - Gamla Stan where the

sambung later. homework waits

To you

2010-01-21T19:30:00.002+01:00

Shahril Azri whom I just added on Fb - I read your info and I didn't have the heart to post this on your wall. I didn't know you personally, anyway.

You said:

Any man who reads too much and uses his own brain too little falls into lazy habits of thinking.datz why i hates books

And what I meant to post:

hai. :) i dont agree with you. reading IS beneficial. your brain works actively by reading - digesting new information etc n its much much more better than just sitting around listening to 'sounds'. and it IS a matter of opinion - i like books, and you hate them, but as you can write about it, so can i too. :)

You should be proud I wrote this for you. :D

(^_^;)

2010-01-19T22:24:00.002+01:00

I was listening to the Posies, doing work at the table when suddenly I felt there was someone standing behind me.

I only had the table lamp on.

I don't want to look back.

I don't want to look at the window in front of me, because it's dark outside and I can see my own reflection, and of course what's behind me.

I changed songs. Quickly.

And when Eternal Flame came on, the atmosphere eased considerably.

I not stupid. Just paranoid.

When You Can't Get Rid of Them, Join Them

2010-01-17T17:33:00.002+01:00

I have always thought of them as cheesy. And childish. I could not fathom why people wasted so much effort typing all the symbols into place. The only good thing is that they express feelings really well.

Anyway. These symbols are heavily used in Korea and China but for some reason they are called Japanese emoticons. The explanations for each emoticon are copied and pasted here directly. Enjoy (o^v^o)

Hi!
(^_^)/
(^^)//
(^0^)/
(^o^)/
(^O^)/
(-o-)/
(^-^)/
(^^/

smile
( ^^)
(^_^)
(*^^)
(^.^)
(*^^*)
(^^)
(^.^)
('-'*)
(#^_^#)
(*^.^*)
(*^^*)
(*^_^*)
(*^o^*)

(^^)(^^ )(^ )( )( )( ^)( ^^)(^^) turn by smiling

Being glad!
(^O^)
(^o^)
(^o^;
(o^v^o)

smiley oldman ^)_(^

Ouch!
(>_<")
(>_<)
(><)
(>_<
(x_x)
(><)
(>_<")
(>_<)
(><#)
(>o<")

a baby (';')
a yawn (~o~)
cold sweat
(;^_^
^-^;
(^-^;
(^-^;)
(^.^;
(^^;
(^^;;
(^o^;
(^^;)
(^^;;
(^^;;;
(^_^;
(^_^;)

embarrassed, scratching one's head
(^_^;;;
(^_^;;?
<^_^;
with a handkerchief
( ;^^)
(^^;
(^o^;
(^O^;
f(^_^)
(;^_^A

Oh no!
(-_-;)
(O.O;)
(oo;)
(@_@;)
(°°;)?
(-_-;)
(-o-;
(^_-;)
(~_~;)
(O.O;)
(/--)/

Why? (?_?)
ET (-)_(-)
yeah d=(^o^)=b

victory
v(^o^)
(^^)v

cry and sob
(;_;)
(ToT)
(T_T)
(T0T)
(;O;)
(T.T)

endure by crying
(/_;)
(;_:)
(;o;)
(T-T)
(TOT)
(T^T)

turn by crying
(;_;)( ;_)( ;)( )(; )(_; )(;_;)

smoke a cigarette (-.-)y- (-¡-)y-~~~~
(-¡-)y-
(>.<)y-~~~
(^_^)y-
(>.<)y-~~~
(>,<)y-~~~
(-.-)y-
(-.-;)y-~~~

no no, I don't want (shake his head)
(;_; )( ;_;)
(T.T )( T.T)

ummmm
((+_+))
(*_*)
(+_+)
(-"-;)
(+o+)

wink
(-_^)
(^_-)
(^_-)

I can't stand any more to be awake…
(-_-) zzz...
(-.-) zzz
(-.-)(__)... zzZ
(+.+)(-.-)(_ _) ..zzZZ

being cheerful o(^o^)o
sing a song (`O`)
I'm very glad! (..)(^^)(^¡^)(*^o^)

yes yes(nodding)
(--)(__)
( ^.^)( -.-)( _ _)

What??? (@_@)
I'm proud (~^~)
silence... ('_')

Bow his thanks politely
m(._.)m
m(__)m
m(_ _)m
<(_ _)>
_(..)_
_(^^)_
( ^.^)( -.-)( _ _)

dancing
o(^-^o)(o^-^)o o(^-^o)(o^-^)o
q(^-^q)(p^-^)p q(^-^q)(p^-^)p q(^-^q)(p^-^)p

a small glad
('-')
('-'*)

bye~~
(^_^)/~~
(^-^)//
(@^^)/~~~
(;_;)/~~~
(^.^)/~~
(^.^/)))~~~
(^^)/~~
(^o^)/~~~
(ToT)/~~~
(^-^)/~~
(;_;)/~~~
(**)/
(^-^)/~
(^.^)/~~~
(^0^)/~~
(^^)/~~~

leave sneakingly
((((((^_^;)
(((((((^^;)
...((((( ((;^^)
......(((^^;)

no good (dameda...)
(*_*)
(+_+)
(x_x)
(x_x)~

It isn't good at all... _(++)/
a face with glasses (^0_0^)
yakuza(japanese mafia) (^_^X)
look down below ( ..)

no no
(>_< )( >_<)
o(><;)(;><)o

good friends (nakayoshi) ( ^_^)(^_^ )

fight!
p(^^)q
e(^ ^)g
(p^-^)p
q(^-^q)
p(^-^)q

glare at you (`_')
being frustrated ( --)//~
kiss! ( ^)(^-^)
I'm very pleased!
(*^3^)/
(^3^)/
)^o^(
( ^3^)/
o(^^o)
(o^^o)
(o^^)o

look around restlessly but curiously ('' )( '')
being startled(a surpris when someone ask you something that you don't want to be asked)
)))))))))))(^^;)/

without emotions
(*_*)
(+_+)
(+_<)

feel dizzy (@o@)

turn your head
(^_^)( ^_)( ^)( )(^ )(_^ )

turn and feel dizzy
(^_^)( ^_)( ^)( )(^ )(_^ )(@_@)

thumbs up!
(^O^)g
d(-_^) (^^)

I'm sad (/_;)
I'm beaten / you win/ hold a white flag (_ _,)/~~
hide oneself secretly (^_^;))))))
walk like a crab <(-_-)> )))

it's here
p(._.)

a fish
<+ ))))><<
<+ )))><<
<+ ))><<

sazaesan 8(*^^*)8

It's cold {{ (>_<) }}

punishment (note the whip?)
(°°; (--)/~~~
(--)/~~~~~~~
(-_-)/~~~~ o

strugle/wriggle
(><;)
(;><)o

the game of stone-paper-scissors
(^O^)g stone
(^O^)y scissors
(^O^)W paper

dejected
........ ( ..)

sleep together
{[(-_-)(-_-)]}

help me~~
(T.T )
( T.T)

kiss
(* ^)(*^-^*)
(*^3^)/
(^3^)/

I catch you!
(^^)/~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~(((((;^^)
I catch you by pinching
(^_^)-c<^_^;)
(;^^)===C

(=_=) stay up all night

where? I'm looking for
(((.. )( ..)))

examine well
(..)
(._.)
o(.. )o

w(^o^)W oo —Watashi Nihongo Hanase mase--n, I don't speak Japanese(imitate a foreigner)

(((((((;^^) ran away secretly

what I mean...(explain)
(^.^)b
d(^-^)

yawn
(_ _)(-.-)(~O~)
(~O~)(-.-)

applause
(^-^)//
(^^)//
(*^^)//
(^-^)v v
(^o^)//"""

scissors 8<

wow! W(`0`)

make comic faces
(=^_^=)
(=^_^;=)
(=;_;=)

When someone says something that you disagrees with.
(-_-#)
(-_-#)
(-_^:)

bingo! !(^^)!

wait! (^^)/~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~(((((;^^)

It's dizzily! (/_+)/

the glasses (@_@)

hello hello ---(telephon)
( ^_^)Û---------Û(^_^ )
(-_-)B
(-_-)D

make a promise by linking little fingers with each other (^_-)db(-_^)

tremble with joy
w(^o^)W wow
(((o(^¡^")o)))
((o(^°^)o))
(o(^°^)o)
o(^-^)o
o(^o^)o

be threatened (-_-#)

fall (o_ _)o

mya- (a cat) (=^_^=)
a cat which has cold sweat (=^_^;=)
It isn't good at all...(=x_x=)
a cat which is crying (=T.T=)

a pig (^o_o^)
a pig opening his nose holes (^0_0^)

Ultraman (o|o)

New Year

2010-01-16T18:12:00.004+01:00

The past few years I had kept on repeating:

If I had cared about what people said, I would be stick thin by now.

But two weeks before New Year (aided by a bout of three-day freaking-funny-but-true brainwashing session from some not-so-soft-spoken friends) I realised that I SHOULD care. I noticed that after each stair-climbing session I am so out of breath, be it only a few steps. My fingers turned pudgy and Dudley-like. Tudung emphasizes my double chins. Jeans started to need a little bit more effort on buttoning up.

And the biggest horror of it all- I began to hate every piece of clothing I tried on in the fitting room. My stomach practically bulges out (GROSS!! It saves money, however, I didn't buy things which are one size bigger than my usual).

Zufriedenheit ist seitdem ums Leben gekommen.

I should pay more attention to what I eat, move a LOT more, and prevent myself from being a REAL polar bear!

So this year I resolved one thing - I am going to be the Biggest Loser. I was never so determined like this before - don't dampen my spirits with your "You already look good the way you are" like my Gastmutter did, okay? :D

Wish me luck with all the muesli and body-wrenching pilates.

Beautiful Things CAN Be Excessive.

2010-01-15T21:23:00.002+01:00

Her brother! :)

Bagi Menghalang Rabun Jauh

2010-01-15T20:58:00.001+01:00

Gib AIDS keine Chance!

Jangan lah kahwin. Nanti aku takde kawan.

2010-01-11T22:10:00.003+01:00

If I, a nobody, a simple friend, a long-time-no-see schoolmate could feel that way, how exactly do a parent feel?

She's getting married and I feel half-empty. Seeing her engagements' pictures makes me wonder, will she still be the same after she belongs to somebody else? Will we be able to talk about the same things A.M.*? Or am I losing somebody I hold dear to a guy I am not sure deserves her?

Sinking deeper makes me more dejected, torn between congratulating a beloved girlfriend and self-pity for not being able to move on to any new phase of life, at least for a long, long time to come.

But life is never about me. Good luck, Muni. :) sayang gila. haih.

*After Marriage

Happy New Year 2010!

2010-01-11T17:53:00.002+01:00

Look, I updated. :)

Been busy. And unmotivated. Plus juggling Facebook, upcoming exams and life all at the same time is no easy feat, so forgive my lame promises to update.

Some memorable quotes from the winter holidays (I know you shouldn't post private jokes people can't relate to in public, but anyway :)):

We were in the train back from Innsbruck when Pian tried his hardest to counter Ismatul's jokes about him. I couldn't quite remember how we managed to relate Pian to orang asli from his village (it was a joke, mind you), but we did it anyway, and continued on teasing him when he blurted out "Kau jangan berani datang Sungai Siput, nanti aku panggil geng-geng aku sume sumpit kau!"

Gosh I practically rolled in my seat from laughing so hard.

On New Year's Eve we played Taboo with Brader's family, and it was Bejak's turn to explain an adjective. He started with "I am ..."

And somebody ruthlessly said "FAT!"

Adoiyai. Anyways Bejak punye semangat deserves an applause. Thanks for his lemon+honey tip, too :)

And there was this farewell party for Mira, held in the common room in Nazmi's hostel. Chew - a Terengganu-born Chinese - joined us. Nazmi went to open the door for Erna when somebody said Nazmi had a lot of girlfriends, and Chew said: "Nanti saya kasikan dia!"

Coming from a Chinese I thought was silent and nerdy, the 'funny' level went straight out of the roof :)) and 'kasi' went on to be our word of the day.

Entschuldigung, darf ich mal ein Foto machen?

2009-12-15T19:14:00.003+01:00

It snowed!

Though it was a little bit of a mood-damper when you are stuck in class, forced to listen about the Ukrainian school system.

Weihnachtszeit ist Schoen

2009-12-09T20:35:00.009+01:00

Lets say the whole of my skin weighs 8.9 kgs.

My head 3.5 kgs,

my arms 5 kgs

my legs 7 kgs,

my bones 9 kgs

my blood 5 kgs,

my cells, nerves, muscles and blood artileries 7 kgs,

my heart, intestines, liver and lungs, as well as clothes as 7 kgs,

and the food I recently ate as 0.5 kgs; this means

I only weigh 5.6 kgs. :)

I don't know if they always have them at Christmas time; or it can be found only in Goethe but they served satay at the Weihnachtsfeier just now. Cool, huh? :)

Sambal is Not Supposed to be Sweet

2009-12-08T18:58:00.004+01:00

We had this so-called 'group creative sessions' in class today. Each of us has to write a sequence of a story. When it was my turn I wrote about a beheaded dog and splattering blood, and a man laughing as loud as a devil.

Then we had some grammar exercises, and the example I gave consisted of a man whose wives were killed mysteriously.

What worries me is the perception of others.

Quoting a guy from this page:

I hope every muslim in the world takes notice: This is what everybody thinks of you: That you demand respect down the barrel of a gun, that you are animals, that it is easier to exclude you than to reason with you.
It's time that the fanatics who shout "Allahu Akbar" before evangelizing themselves to pieces in a market full of women and children, learn that there is a force out there that's stronger than they, that also has unalterable values, and that can also be offended.
The fact that so many responses here say-"I don't blame the director" is horrible. Continuously treating Islam as a special case means that it will NEVER be on an equal footing in the west. It used to be that we were all encouraged to respect people. Now we are being told to respect IDEAS; That some ideas should be immune from criticism. (As if a made-up disaster amounts to a scathing indictment of Islam.)
Were I Muslim I would take note. Is this really how you want to be treated?

Every little bit counts

Do Me a Favor and

2009-12-06T22:48:00.001+01:00

GROW UP!

I am Amazed at My Ability to Ramble.

2009-12-03T20:47:00.002+01:00

Let's say he asked me out.

Not exactly that he will, you know, seeing the circumstances: He and I, we are different, way too much different. Plus the fact that he already had someone of his own does not help, and if you really look closely at the matter, he and I are so-called 'colleagues', and colleagues don't date each other; they take 7-minute breaks in stationary cupboards. And I have never seen a stationary cupboard in anywhere in Goethe, plus it's a FAT CHANCE (no pun intended) if I am going to stay for seven minutes inside a cupboard.

Anyway, it will be too much of a hassle to keep the others from knowing, and the language barrier is unimaginably high, I've had too much embarassing moments telling jokes in German that nobody laughs at (because nobody could understand), and I am not looking forward to more embarassing moments especially when there are just the two of us. I wouldn't have the chance to hope that somebody else starts a new topic, for example.

Plus the notion is actually amazingly ridiculous, seeing that we barely speak to each other (OK, that's a little bit of an understatement, but still, we never spoke about things that really matters). He would not, in a trillion years,'fall in like' with someone like me. He is way too young, by the way. I've had enough of all these young people.

But still, if he IS to ask me out, I wouldn't have had anything to wear.

Funny how a girl's mind work, eh? :)

Finally!

2009-12-03T20:03:00.004+01:00

Have you ever experienced the relief of being able to recall what've been nagging your mind since, like, a million years ago?

*Alittlebitofexaggerationneverhurts:)*

So it all started a few days before our Treffen in Frankfurt. A girlfriend wrote a blog entry, I read it, but nothing else came into my mind except these three words:

I feel you.

When we were together we discussed this blog entry, we quoted it, but I still could not figure it out, why is it that these three words have been nagging the back of mind continuously:

I feel you.

And as I was starting to tackle a really complicated piece of homework a single grey brain cell, upon waking up from sleep, decided to nudge the cell beside him, who is at the moment scratching his chin thinking about those three words. They electrocuted each other a little bit (that's how I've always pictured signals sent by cells in our body, blame the TV) and sent signals to my hands, who released a non-functional pen they have been holding on to since the past fifteen minutes, and went instead to type those three words into Google:

I feel you.

I found the answer on Youtube. So I finally get to solve the mysterious, sad cries of "I feel you" in my head.

One day,

2009-12-02T22:16:00.001+01:00

I'll go to Paris, France, and help Anastasia find her lost grandmother. I'll also willingly tie Dimitri to her side so he won't ever think that the girl did not need him.

Kenapa Kita Rindu Benda Yang Tak Ada?

2009-12-01T19:00:00.002+01:00

Dan komplen pasal benda yang dekat dengan kita?

Kita rimas. Kita meluat, bosan dan benci.

Tapi kita sendiri tau yang nanti, bila benda tu dah tak ada lagi dgn kita, kita rindu.

Kita akan ingat-ingat sampai termimpi-mimpi. Kita akan mengeluh, cerita dengan semua orang "Dulu kan, mase aku ..."

Memang lumrah, manusia tak pernah puas hati dengan apa yang mereka ada.

Ada kurang, nak lebih. Ada lebih, mula risau, kata "kan baik kalau aku ada kurang?"

Tapi ada juga yang ada lebih, tetap lagi mahu lebih. Mahu lagi dan lagi.

Pendek kata, aku bosan dengan keluhan. Sedih, sakit hati, letih, sejuk, banyak kerja. Hari-hari lalui benda yang sama, sampai bila nak mengeluh, bila nak sesuaikan diri? Ku sendiri bosan mengeluh. Bosan hati sakit. Rasanya, kalau dikorek keluar hati aku, penuh kotoran, macam teritip lekat di batu. Sebabnya. Sikit-sikit nak marah. Sikit-sikit meluat. Sikit-sikit menyampah.

Tak mahu begini.

Mahu jadi mcm satu ketika dulu, di mana ade orang pernah bertanya:

"Eh, kau ni tak pernah sedih ke?"

Pomegranate.

2009-11-30T20:29:00.003+01:00

I am procrastinating.

I am stealing time.

I don't smoke grey cigars, by the way.

But I like the colour grey.

And brown. And dark green.

But not black.

Portmonnaies may be black. Cameras. Handphones. Neckties. Stuff like that.

The sweater I'm wearing is white with grey writings on it.

It said

Sports est. 1959

But it was covered all over with little red spots. Klitze-klitzeklein.

But no, my sweater is not polka-dotted.

And no, I don't have chicken pox.

It was this: I cut myself a pomegranate after dinner. As dessert.

It bled.

I was surprised.

I wiped the pomegranate blood off the table with a cloth.

In Hamburg, we call the wipecloth Feudel instead of the usual Lappen.

The cloth was white.

I did not rinse it afterwards.

I hung it at the sink.

Because I loved the colours. Real red. On white.

I stood a few seconds and looked at the piece of wipecloth.

Then I rinsed it. The red washed away, leaving only a piece of damp white cloth.

I then took my cut pomegranate into my room to eat.

As I dig into the fruit with a spoon, it spurted blood again.

All over my white sweater.

Did I spell pomegranate right?

In German we call them Granatapfel.

PomegranatePomegranatePromegranatePromegranatePomegranatePome granatePromegranatePromegranatePomegranatePomegranatePromegranatePromegranatePomegranatePomegranatePromegranatePromegranate

Po me gra na te

I So Feel Like Kicking You.

2009-11-22T23:47:00.002+01:00

I am unfortunately bipolar. One minute I pity, the next moment filled me with hatred. But I hold on to the same principle: The things you have done, you cannot undo; you must bear the consequences. In other words, PADAN MUKA. I try my best not to say these two words to the face, though, I know how piercingly sharp it could be when you are (for example) in regret about something you lost etc.

But still. Let's pray I don't hate you.

I lost my phone in Luton Airport but got a new number. Message me thru Facebook so we could keep in contact.

I moved and there's no Internet connection in this house. Am still considering whether I should buy those broadband thingies. Maybe yes, maybe not.

NB: Mak, bukan orang yg salah sbb hilang phone. Jangan marah. Haha. Makcik rumah lama tu mmg Yahudi tp dia tak kacau pun. Anyway, da selamat pindah da. :)

Könnte auch häufiger als manchmal sein.

2009-11-16T22:38:00.003+01:00

*Die Liebe ist manchmal ein Arschloch.

I Played With the HTML.

2009-11-15T14:56:00.002+01:00

Luckily enough, my blog retained shape. Ugh. Will tackle the matter when I have less things on my hands.

Loving It! :D

2009-11-10T21:06:00.004+01:00

I installed this new hover code and I love love love it.

Do visit my Facebook page, too! :D

p/s: Cool, ne? You got it. *happy* credits to this guy here.

I Will Never Love You More

2009-11-09T22:05:00.000+01:00

Saya Bajet Hot. Seriously.

2009-11-05T19:07:00.002+01:00

I won't approve people I don't know on Facebook. I don't believe in "Ala, Fb kan gunanya utk tambah kawan?" or such related whatnots. I have over 500 friends already, yg tu pun tak terjaga. So thanks, but no thanks.

Many of my girlfriends from school are married, or are warming up to it. So they went on to their next phase of life - congratulations, babes. Ich hab leider den Zug verpasst. :) Just reflecting on my few years back is a real pain in the S, and to think that I have five more years to go before graduating? Sometimes being too ambitious is a right downfall.

To prevent my lemaks from accumulating under my lovely lovely goose feather blanket, I went to the city today, alone. As I wandered aimlessly about, an old lady politely let me go up the escalator before her (ironic, isn't it, in Malaysia we always let the elders go first. Here, age is NOTHING). I stood on the steps, thinking about nothing when the lady tapped me on the shoulder. She said, "You have such beautiful hair, why don't you take your scarf off and let it show?" And I was thinking, "Makcik ni penah dtg rumah aku ke, mane dia nmpk rambut cantik?" I stuttered a bit, and answered, "No, no, well, it's also cold now, and it always rains, so its quite practical to wear a scarf," and grinned je lah, ape lagi nk buat. Then she said "Aww, that's a pity, one should be allowed to show that one is pretty," but thank God escalators are not one kilometre long, and I ventured left as soon as I reached the top. She said something else, I do not care to hear as I am making an escape, and so I (being typically German) called out "Thanks!" and didn't look back.

I started to hope I have something Malaysian to wear on me as I go around. Not the flag, please, it's too much resemblance to the American. Just to avoid answering for the umpteenth time "No, I'm not from Indonesia, but Malaysia." In Berlin, someone even called out - "Ni hao!"

Ach, ja, Zeile 10, 11, 12, und... err, was kommt danach?*

2009-11-03T20:22:00.003+01:00

So you can't. So be it. So let me know exactly. If possible, NOW.

*Ah, yes, line 10, 11, 12, and.. err, what comes after that?

- happened today in class. I totally suck at numbers.

So I Want To Go Public, Too

2009-10-26T10:58:00.003+01:00

Weekends with friends always brought late nights and almost-uncontrollable cash flow, but they also means GREAT fun. And gratefully I don't have to spend birth day rolling on my bed trying to plan something to do. Thanks, guys.

Heartiest thanks for all the well-wishes. You guys rock!

Thanks of thousands, too, to the babies Mira and Aisyah for your efforts on baking the cake. It was superbly Starbucks-like! I pity those who doesn't get a taste. :)

Mak and Ayah, I am still waiting for your present. :D

And now it's your turn.

You wrote me a simple blog entry. Though its effects on me wasn't as simple. It made me realise that I'm dreadfully half-blind before, for not noticing how much I am appreciated. Because it wasn't your style to go and write such stuff. It's most of the time dead-fish boring politics (still waiting to read your views on Nicolas Sarkozy hehe). Truly I am amazed at the way you managed to handle 'me'. I am difficult, I know. I am all sorts of things good and bad. I always want this and that and this and that and you breezed through it. I can't say I got away as easy as you - but I am better now at keeping my head cool and not letting my annoyance-over-the-unfulfilled-requests get to me.

I want this to last. I want to stay standing on my feet and get ready for everything but at the same time - I have never wanted to bring someone back home so much before. :)

I am Needing Food.

2009-10-21T21:37:00.003+02:00

Though I am already debab debab debab. The urge to munch is irrepressible. I ate, then after a walk to the train station I am ready for something else to eat. And the cold is not helping either. Plus the fact that Ritter Sport Vollnuss is as delicious as sin keeps the denial way away away.

If I Could Scream

2009-10-01T18:22:00.004+02:00

Eh kau racist, tak bagi aku lintas nape?!
Liebe Deutschen, orange is the new black! Pegi sume org beli baju kaler lain! Jgn ragu-ragu lagi. Lagipun ngantuk la pagi-pagi naik bas hitammmm je.
Curse you, Fraulein, baju kau sumpah lawa.
Curse you double, Fraulein, muke kau lawa gila! Senyum kat aku plak tu. Iskk
Hamburg, rilek dlu, jgn sejuk dulu~

Special Case: Anjingmu itu memprovok amarahku

Pakcik. Gua tau la ko tak suke mandi. Tp ko mandikan anjing ko bole x? Habis satu bas busuk. Estúpido!
Eh, anjing awak comel gila. Nak pijak bole?
Hoi kutip laa tahi ni! Gua dah la rabun!
Cek abang di sana. Bole x ajar anjing awak pegi WC? Ni asal nmpk tiang je, angkat kaki. Payah betul. Hamburg ni bau sameeee je!
Anjing beso mcm serigala takyah la bwk naik tren! Ko tunggang je pon cepat sampai!

And I can imagine the same thing happening when I'm back in Malaysia:

Kak, reti beratur?
Ni ketapi bila nk sampai?
Bukan ko sorang je ade hempon. Jangan ckp kuat-kuat dlm tren bole tak?
Starbucksssssss~ nape ko mahallllllll

Morning

2009-09-12T10:02:00.002+02:00

Step into a train. Wait on a roadside. Climb on a bus.

Look around you.

What colours do you see?

Black, grey, white, beige, black, black, brown, ooh, red! Then again grey, black, black, black..

Oh. So that explains why it is ridiculously easy to find me in a sea of people. Yellow tudung, pink jacket that does not fit in. Lols

Huh Huh Huh

2009-09-09T18:21:00.007+02:00

Ich hab heute versucht, vom Hauptbahnhof nach Hause zu Fuss zu gehen. Nach einer halben Stunde bin ich ja angekommen. Aber leider zurueck am Hauptbahnhof. :)

Feeling adventurous, I decided to walk home today. It took me a half hour by public transport to go back, and I figured out walking won't take too long either. Oh, and I asked for directions at an Indonesian restaurant. Saje je nk ckp Melayu. Walaupun om itu asalnya Indonesia, kok kan masih serumpun? :)

Om itu dengan expertnya bagi direction. Bunyi mcm convincing. So I went confidently, a spring in my steps, even snapping pictures now and then to upload here later. Wait, I'll upload. So here's a few (taken with my Nokia 6288 2MP camera bcz I'm too kedekut to buy a new one):

Steindamm from the right end - this is my tempat lepak, everyday go here to buy food sebab byk tempat halal. 5 minute walk from Central Station

Centrum-Moschee Hamburg - masjid. 3tingkat kot~ :P

Then my camera went kaputt. Seriously. Haha

I walked and walked and walked according to the directions by Om.

A typical street katmanetah. Where I started to doubt the directions. I believe this is the Lange Reihe. Memang lang (long) pun. LOL

And after half an hour I arrived. Voila! Central Station! Back to where I came from. Fishhhhh

Eh, and by the way:

On a sunny morning at Bremen, I found this makcik. :)

Perakness / Jakunness

2009-09-08T21:00:00.002+02:00

Using some sort of pneumatic rules, German buses lean down to pavements when they stop, so passengers doesn't have to literally climb into them. It's quite unnoticeable actually, but as I first rode on one, I had these damn heavy baggages, and I actually hold on to them to prevent them from sliding. And though most Germans are polite, a few actually laughed seeing me lugging those bags on the bus and in the subway. Damn you schweinehunde :P
I don't know if it's a case of trust, but you don't have to show your tickets when you ride a bus or a train. Only if you got unlucky will there be an inspector. Oh yes, and after 9 pm too.
You have to open the door yourself upon getting out from trains.
The distance of two subway stations are really close, not even a six-minute walk if you don't count waiting to cross roads. Buang karan je naik. Duh
Where there is no traffic light for pedestrians, walk confidently across a road and cars will be panting to stop. Even as you wait on the pavement, hesitating, they WILL stop. Do not even worry of getting hit. :P
I went into a fitting room. However, the door ends knee-length, and there's a round hole the size of your face on the door. You can even see people passing. Terus x jadi try baju. Haha. But not all fitting rooms are so. Most are closed with curtains. And though it's something I should have been used to, I still am a little bit suprised seeing a boy and a girl get out/in a fitting room together. :)
Upon stepping into a shop: "Guten Tag! Hallo!" - cheerily, upon leaving "Danke! Tschus!" even more cheerily! Mesra nya!
On sunny days, my lecturer doesn't give us homework.
It really really really really irks me that the Germans did not use water during istinjak. LOL.
Suprisingly. It takes less time than what I thought to get used to being here. And I think I'm slowly turning into an European. Why? Because I stopped converting euros into MYR each time I went shopping. Result is, I did not hesitate too much before buying. It's quite dangerous, though. :)

UncomprehensibIe

2009-09-05T07:44:00.001+02:00

I thought, even if you have such a short short time, you could still use the chance. But some people don't think that way, no?

Dush. Rambles

2009-08-25T08:44:00.002+02:00

I woke up (lepas tido lepas sahur laa hehe) and terus start packing. Bad news: Beg itu sangat kosong.

Haritu ayah tanya, "Nak pegi bwk rempah ape ni?" - ayahku paham anaknye mmg noob.

Yours truly pon jwb : " Nak bwk rempah instant, masuk dalam kuali trus jadi lauk,"

Bapakku pon kate: "ohh. adeee~"

wahaha.

Along cite. Mak nak buat ketupat minggu ni. Ayatnye: "Nak buat ketupat laa. Nak kasi zati, nnt dia kat sana raya takde ketupat, siannn."

Along pun OK la. Kejap tu mak ckp lagi: "Tp sebenarnye mak yang nak makan!"

Geram plak rasanye. haha

Keta takde plak. Nak gi kedai ni beli rempah! Haha. Semangat lebih. Satgi banyak tu rempah bwk pegi, banyak tu jugak la bawak balik. ;)

Nak beli baju lagi rasanye. Smlm eksen. ahaha. Uhh. Nak shopping!

Because Good Boys are Hard to Find.

2009-08-21T12:43:00.002+02:00

Last night I when I got back in our apartment, there was this uneasy feeling left inside after an intense conversation (CONVERSATION, mind you) and I wanted distraction. Distraction, however, had disappeared for a few minutes, looking for new movies to copy. Then for those few minutes I was simply lost looking for somebody, and I have never, ever, felt so helpless.

Now almost everybody's gone. And solitude never suits me really, it always left me running through pessimistic thoughts. Well, as far as this euphoria goes, I must admit that I am scared. And all the time a part of me will be somewhere else - I will always be incomplete.

Plus having to prepare rendang myself on Hari Raya? Mein Gott - mak, masuk cepat dalam beg!

What a Small World We Are Living In!

2009-08-14T13:25:00.002+02:00

I did some profile-jumping at Facebook just now and found out that most of the people on my friends list are in some way or other connected to me, let it be that I have never even heard of them before.

For example.

I am friends with A. I have a crush on C. Both of them are on Fb.

A went to school with B. He told me B is very cute. So out of gatalness, I added B as a friend on Fb. One night when I couldn't sleep, I viewed all the 234 of B's pictures. And I saw that B is actually is in the same university with C's girlfriend! Lame to you, maybe, but to me it's schoking!

I have a classmate, D, her ex-boyfriend is E. I have a friend, F, we were once classmates. Again, all of them are on Fb. I never knew E, chatted with him once or twice, he saw me once at some kedai makan but my rabunness saved me from him, and that's about all. But then I noticed E's comments on F's page. They were close friends, really!

We are all connected to each other, in a circle, in a hoop that never ends.

How high you fly, how low you went, there will always be somebody that knows you in some way, if only you know how and where to look. Never forget your roots, never forget who you are.

Kents

2009-08-14T10:01:00.003+02:00

1. Dari mana asal kentut?
Dari gas dalam usus. Gas dalam usus berasal dari udara yg kita telan, gas yang menerobos ke usus dari darah, gas dari reaksi kimia & gas dari bakteria dalam perut.

2. Apa komposisi kentut?
Bervariasi. Makin banyak udara anda telan, makin banyak kadar nitrogen dalam kentut (oksigen dari udara terabsorbsi oleh tubuh sebelum sampai di usus). Adanya bakteria serta reaksi kimia antara asam perut & cairan
usus menghasilkan karbon dioksida. Bakteria juga menghasilkan metana & hidrogen. Proporsi masing-masing gas tergantung apa yang anda makan, berapa banyak udara tertelan, jenis bakteria dalam usus, berapa lama kita menahan kentut. Makin lama menahan kentut, makin besar proporsi nitrogen, karena gas-gas lain terabsorbsi oleh darah melalui dinding usus. Orang yang makannya tergesa-gesa kadar oksigen dalam kentut lebih banyak karena tubuhnya tidak sempat mengabsorbsi oksigen.

3. Kenapa kentut berbau busuk?
Bau kentut karena kandungan hidrogen sulfida & merkaptan. Kedua senyawa ini mengandung sulfur (belerang). Makin banyak kandungan sulfur dalam
makanan anda, makin banyak sulfida & merkaptan diproduksi oleh
bakteri dalam perut, & makin busuklah kentut anda. Telur & daging punya peranan besar dalam memproduksi bau busuk kentut. Kacang-kacangan berperanan dalam memproduksi volume kentut, bukan dalam kebusukannya.

4. Kenapa kentut menimbulkan bunyi?
karena adanya vibrasi lubang anus semasa kentut diproduce. Kerasnya bunyi tergantung pada kecepatan gas.

5. Kenapa kentut yg busuk itu hangat & tidak bersuara?
Salah satu sumber kentut adalah bakteria. Fermentasi bakteria & proses pencernaan memproduksi panas, hasil sampingnya adalah gas busuk. Ukuran gelembung gas lebih kecil, hangat & jenuh dengan produk metabolisme
bacteria yg berbau busuk. Ini kemudian menjadi kentut, walau hanya kecil volumenya, tapi SBD (Silent But Deadly)

6. Berapa banyak kentut diproduksi sehari?
Rata-rata setengah liter sehari dalam 14 kali kentut.

7. Berapa waktu yang diperlukan oleh kentut untuk melakukan perjalanan ke hidung orang lain?
Tergantung kondisi udara, seperti kelembaban, suhu, kecepatan & arah angin, berat molekul gas kentut, jarak antara 'transmitter' dengan 'receiver'. Begitu meninggalkan sumbernya, gas kentut menyebar & konsentrasinya berkurang. Kalau kentut tidak terdeteksi dalam beberapa detik, ini bermaksud mengalami pengenceran di udara & hilang ditelan udara selama-lamanya. Kecuali kalau anda kentut di ruang sempit, seperti lift, di dalam kereta, kandungannya lebih banyak, sehingga baunya akan tinggal dalam waktu lama sampai akhirnya diserap dinding.

8. Betulkah laki-laki kentut lebih kerap daripada perempuan?
Tidak ada kaitannya dengan gender.. Kalau benar, ini berrti perempuan menahan kentutnya, & saat kentut banyak sekali jumlah yg dikeluarkan.

9. bilakah masa biasanya orang kentut?
Pagi hari di toilet. yang disebut "morning thunder". Kalau resonansinya bagus, boleh kedengaran di seluruh penjuru rumah.

10. Mengapa makan kacang-kanagan menyebabkan banyak kentut?
kacang-kacangan mengandung zat gula yg tidak boleh dicerna tubuh. Gula tsb (raffinose, stachiose, verbascose) jika mencapai usus, bakteri di usus
langsung berpesta pora & membuat banyak gas. Jagung, kubis, susu juga penyebab banyak kentut (bukan baunya!).

11. Selain makanan, apa saja penyebab kentut?
Udara yang tertelan, makan terburu-buru, makan tanpa dikunyah, minum soft drink, naik pesawat udara (karena tekanan udara lebih rendah, sehingga gas di dalam usus mengalami ekspansi & muncul sebagai kentut).

12. Apakah kentut sama dengan sendawa, tapi muncul dari lain lubang?
Tidak... sendawa muncul dari perut, komposisi kimianya lain dengan kentut. Sendawa mengandung udara lebih banyak, kentut mengandung gas yang diproduksi oleh bakteria lebih banyak.

13. Kemana perginya gas kentut kalau ditahan tidak dikeluarkan?
Bukan diabsorbsi darah, bukan hilang kerana bocor.. Tapi bermigrasi ke bahagian atas menuju usus & pada gilirannya akan keluar juga. Jadi bukan lenyap, tapi hanya mengalami penundaan.

14. Mungkinkah kentut terbakar?
Biasa saja. Kentut mengandung metana, hidrogen yg combustible (gas alam mengandung komponen ini juga). Kalau terbakar, nyala-nya berwarna biru kerana kandungan unsur hidrogen.

15. Mengapa kentut & kucing lebih busuk?
Kerana & kucing adalah karnivor (pemakan daging). Daging kaya akan protein. Protein mengandung banyak sulfur, jadi bau kentut binatang ini lebih busuk.Lain dengan herbivor seperti kambing, kuda,gajah, yang memproduksi kentut lebih banyak, lebih lama, lebih keras bunyinya, tapi relatif tidak berbau.

16. Betulkah pening kepala kalau mencium bau kentut 2-3 kali berturut-turut?
Kentut mengandung sedikit oksigen, mungkin sedikit saja anda mengalami pening kepala kalau mencium bau kentut terlalu banyak.

17. Apakah warna kentut?
Tidak berwarna. Kalau warnanya orange seperti gas nitrogen oksida, akan ketahuan siapa yang kentut.

18. Apakah kentut itu asid, alkali atau neutral?
Asid, karena mengandung karbondioksisa (CO2) & hidrogen sulfida (H2S)

19. Apa yang terjadi kalau seseorang kentut di planet Venus?
Planet Venus sudah banyak mengandung sulfur(belerang) di lapisan udaranya, jadi kentut di sana pun tidak ada pengaruhnya

Survey 1.

2009-07-31T06:08:00.004+02:00

1. Beside ur lips,where is the favourite spot to get kissed?

Where it tickles. :D

2. How did u feel when u woke up this morning?

Dejected. Confused, as always. And a little bit of regret.

3. Who was the last person / people you took photo with ?

Adhi, yesterday, in class. He was doing these stupid facial expressions and I could not resist. :)

4. Would u consider urself spoiled ?

Not very much. But if you count laziness in, then I am very much spoiled.

5. Have you ever had a best friend who was of the opposite sex?

Yes.

6. Do you want someone to be dead?

Yes, myself.

7. What does your last text message say?

"xla. dok uma je.." from my sister.

8. What are you thinking right now ?

"Next time you are doing something be sure you've weighed the consenquences."

9. Do you want someone to be with you right now ?

Yes, to rid me of this cold. Hehe

10. What was the time you went to bed last night ?

Before 1am.

11. Where did you buy the tee you are wearing now ?

This baju kurung belongs to my sister. :D

12. Is someone on your mind right now?

Yes.

Random Thoughts Part II

2009-07-29T17:21:00.002+02:00

I was bitten tonight but sadly not by Edward Cullen. My roomate lost all sanity as she bit me, and I carry now a not-so-lovely bite mark on my arm.
I am the first to have finished my homework tonight. Yes. Homework. I want to get away from this foundation year as soon as possible - I want to call them homework assignments. It was getting duller, as you might have experienced when you go through four years of preparation programme while at the same time repeating everything.
I read once that the more intelligent people listen to U2 and Radiohead. So in my efforts to be a little less shallow (like Faris once put it), I would like recommendations on tracks from these two musicmakers. Hehe. Not exactly that reason by the way - but I want to experience new music. Usually when I did these efforts on my own I tend to crinkle my nose at the song I found - they were not exactly to my liking.
My classmates and I, we are so going to burn in hell when we die.
There are usually a lot of differences between what I say and what I mean.
If there is a way to escape from this continuous thirst, I will do it gladly.

the Einstein Says:

2009-07-27T15:38:00.005+02:00

Sich verlieben ist nicht das Dümmste, was der Mensch tut - die Gravitation kann aber nicht dafür verantwortlich gemacht werden.

Falling in love is not at all the most stupid thing that people do — but gravitation cannot be held responsible for it.

When a man sits with a pretty girl for an hour, it seems like a minute. But let him sit on a hot stove for a minute and it's longer than any hour. That's relativity.

If the bee disappears from the surface of the earth, man would have no more than four years to live. No more bees, no more pollination ... no more men!

The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results.

I do not know with what weapons World War III will be fought, but World War IV will be fought with sticks and stones.

Never memorize what you can look up in books.

Life is like riding a bicycle. To keep your balance you must keep moving.

Hey, Kena Tipu! HAHAHA

2009-07-20T06:38:00.003+02:00

Tak mahu salahkan sapa-sapa pun , okey? On my behalf actually tak kesah pun sangat. Tau dah, all these management problems are sure to occur sooner or later. Biasa lah. But its our parents. Ni yang buat malas nak balik kampung Sungai Udangku yang terchenta tu. Nanti orang tanya-tanya. Budak-budak muda classmate ku, xpe lagi. Daku? Masuk ni dah 3 kali x jadi fly!
Postponement is acceptable. Tapi 'until further notice' tu yang tak sedap didengar. We want something concrete!
Tiba-tiba mata gatal. Habis eyeliner smudge.
Mula-mula masa cuti penggal, punye laa tunggu offer letter from BPG (nk kasi fly). Tunggu punye tunggu, janggut pun tumbuh sikit dah (bukan sayelah hehe). Tak ada surat apa-apa. Kitorang tak sangka pula Isnin ade class. Pastu sombong plop (ehe mintak maap senior2ku cohort 1) tak pegi tanye sapa-sapa. Amik kau = Nimm das! Orang lain dah start class, budak Jerman melepak lagi kat umah. Yelah, bajet nk fly dah, sape tau kena masuk class balik? Haa lumba-lumba la pegi beli tiket balik KL petang Isnin tu.
Balik laa IPBA terhegeh-hegeh. Dapat tau kena buat B1+ plak 6weeks. Flight postponed! Down gila mase tu. Rase nk lari 3000m. Kehairanan x dpt elak, kenapa bole jadi mcm gini? Jangan laa ckp dgn kitorg - kata mmg dah plan postponement ni from last year + nk buat bridging course mcm class French. Pelik. Kenapa sebelum cuti secebis cerita pasal bridging tu, kitorang bole tak tau? Ada ayam sembunyi dalam nasi pataya ke, mcm kat Ali? Oh, rupanya. Mula-mula dapat tau, pasal list name. Katanye tak sampai ke BPG. Sebab tu surat tak boleh keluar. Rasanya soft copy, hard copy suma bagi dah. Tak apalah. Dalam pada nk tunggu tu, kitorang bole buat-buat belajar Jerman. Tapi tak pernah nafsu belajarku setumpul ini. :(
Kena marah bertubi-tubi. Budak Jerman memang nakal. Diorg ingat, dah nk fly, tak payah pegi class la ye? Korang ingat korang pandai sangat buat keputusan sendiri? Korang saje ambik kesempatan, ye? Suke duduk rumah melepak? Oh, korang cakap tak tau ade class. Habis selama ni, tiap-tiap kali lepas cuti, ade orang dtg jumpa korang, bgtau - "esok ade class, ye, sila datang pukul 8" - mcmtu? Ape? Foundation kat IPBA setahun - 2 semester? Fikir balik. Korang masuk last year berapa haribulan? Hari ni berapa haribulan? Dah cukup setahun? Haa. Tak kira laa 20 sem pun, kalau belum cukup 365 hari, tak kira setahun!
Lepas tu pasal visa application. OK, part of it are our faults too, ade yang sampai lambat terhegeh-hegeh (aku laa tu). Lepas tu salah isi plak, tak certify segala. Habis kelam kabut satu JBA nak tolong budak Jerman punye pasal. Terbang-terbang suma kertas, cop, pen hitam pen biru segala. Terima kasih banyak-banyak, semua lecturer JBA. Bersungguh-sungguh mereka sign photostated copies sume. Siap akhirnya. Bola hantar. BPG tunggu visa siap, baru nak kasi date. Tak apalah. We wait.
Last week pegi buat visa. German Embassy gila cool. Visa free - belum gtau mak lagi ni ;) - plus bole siap dlm masa seminggu saja. Bengang sikit sbb sbnrnye tak payah buat medical checkup pun - tp xpelah, FREE beb! :)) Visa siap by this Wednesday, to be exact. I whooped there and then. Suddenly the world seems to be a happier place, and everybody are exceptionally beautiful.
The same week seorang wakil from BPG datang. Tapi takde jumpa kami pun. Tak apa. Tak kisah. Tapi bila dpt tau mereka mintak wakil call embassy and lambatkan validity visa tu (apetah term, xtau) supaya boleh nk postponekn lagi kitorang fly ke Germany, tiba-tiba kelasku yang spesel ada aircond jadi panas. A few of my classmates nk pegi jumpa that representative. Tapi x dpt pun. Tak apaaaaaaa.
The main point is - Why? Sebab duit, kah? Goethe-Institut won't accept students without payments. Xde hutang-hutang deh! Kalau nak pegi jugak, boleh, tapi tido laa korang tepi jambatan. Tapi skrg summer kot, xpe kan? :D Atau sebab swine flu, kah? Oh, terima kasih lah, kerana sudi cuba menyelamatkan nyawa kami.
Selamat maju jaya, kawan-kawan. Ich liebe euch <3>

List

2009-07-17T07:40:00.002+02:00

1. Dont tell us when you think other girls are hot.

2. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials before we get bored.

3. Mark anniversaries on the calendar.

4. We think about you all the time.

5. This is how we see it: Don’t call = Don’t care.

6. Which also means that if we dont call, take a hint.

7. We like you to be a little jealous. But overly possessive is not necessary.

8. We’re allowed to be late. You’re not.

9. Eye contact is the key.

10. Don’t take longer to get ready than we do.

11. Laugh at our jokes.

12. 3 words: honesty, honesty, honesty!

13. Girls can be groupies. Guy groupies are stalkers.

14. Do not start with us. You will not win.

15. Would you like it if a guy treated your sister that way? Didn’t think so.

16 If you ask nicely, we`ll answer the same way.

17. We will never have enough clothes or shoes.

18 Open the door for us no matter where we are.

19. We love surprises.

20. Pay attention to the little things we do, because they mean the most.

21. Always brush your teeth before you see us. A fresh mouth and white teeth are a necessity.

22. Clean your room before we come over.

23. Even though you’re sometimes insensitive and hurt us, we still love you with everything we are.

24. Don’t act hard around your friends

25. Sometimes “NO” really means “NO!”.

26. “Wife beaters” are not an adequate form of fashion.

27. Sensitive guys are great.. but crying more than we do in a movie just isn’t right.

28. Dont let ex-girlfriends cause drama, relationships are stressful enough.

29. It takes a special kind of stupid to forget birthdays.

30. “Fat chicks” have feelings, too.

31. Silent treatment, shoulder shrugs, tears, yelling, & nasty looks add up to = YOU DiD SOMETHiNG WRONG.

32. The excuse “I can’t dance” is unacceptable. We'll appreciate the simple fact that you're trying. (applies to almost everything)

33. Just because a girl doesn't pick up on the first ring, doesn't mean she"s not waiting by the phone.

34. You dont have to spend a lot; if it means a lot.

35. Dont say you love me if you dont mean it.

36. Dont lie to us. We will catch you - its just a matter of time.

37. Dont you ever answer our question with only ONE word! We hate it!

38. Just BE by our side when shopping means you are not allowed to flirt while we shopping

39. Please give us some comment while shopping.. it's compulsory.

40. When the girls get together, we talk about everything. Meaning, my best friends know everything about you.

credits - Abang Muzakkir. :)