I have a friend Gorilla.

1. I should have paid more attention. I should have known that friends is more than dutifully liking Facebook updates and grinning inwardly at Twitter jokes.
2. To make sure I don't forget, I made a mental note. That's apparently a mistake, because it felt like I've accomplished something after that (the note making part). Because after some time I forgot that I had made a mental note AND the thing I don't want to forget altogether.
3. Now I've taken to jotting down reminders on every surface that allows the small sphere at the tip of a ball pen to roll and dispense the viscous ink (credits to Wiki) onto it. The draft for this post is written at the back of a pamphlet for the National Online Quiz 6. 
4. yes i draft my blog posts. well, not actual drafts maybe, just strings of phrases so i wont forget the key idea.
5. Actually the full draft is for another post, but the title to this post is an afterthought I wrote at the very end of the page and it's suits my current mood - so.
6. It's a song from a camping trip in Darjah 2. 

I have a friend Gorilla. Gorilla's name is Toby. Toby's friend is (say somebody's name here). This is how he/she dances. Ooh Ooh Oooh.

Cue to the one whose name was called who must then dance the gorilla dance - just random sumoish foot-stamping and clapping your hands above your head. We sang this during ice-breaking, which is why it's always there like an original soundtrack when I think about friends and the people around me.

Bila orang kejut tidur buat bunyi "Mmm?!" konon-konon dah sedar.

Two years back emak told a story of her officemate who saw our family picture and wanted me as her menantu. Based on the picture only. Heh mak cik I sincerely think you were duped. Anyway today the mak cik held a wedding and right at the door we saw the boy (no he wasn't the one getting married but his older brother) sebab makcik and pakcik tengah amik gambar atas pelamin - kita orang datang lambat, pukul 2 keh keh nasib baik nasi ada lagi. I didn't want to go at first, because we went to the same couple's reception yesterday - bride's family - but since both parents and in-laws are friends of my parents, we were invited to both. My emak knows how I liked going to weddings so when I told her I'm rain-checking today, she fussed a lot and told me "it was just jokes what we told you before", "yesterday was my other friend and she will see that you didn't come to this one" maybe thinking I didn't want to go because of the story. She even waited until I was ready before getting out of the house when she usually got into the car first.

So we arrived at the wedding, and at the door the boy greeted ayah first, asking "oh ni dari Sungai Udang ke?" and there was this total facepalm moment when my ayah said "aah betul, kalau tak kita ni dah berbesan" and tunjuk ke arah aku plak tu adoiyaiiiii nak tutup muka dengan pinggan je rasanya. Tapi since my best ability is pretending not to hear i managed to grin straight-faced at him though embarrassment is like oozing out from our nostrils.

Anyway my parents didn't quite remember if that was the boy but I think it was him, he was there on my aunt's wedding when the story first got round and the lot of my relatives were like pointing me out and pointing him out - helluva lot of facepalm moments, I was totally hiding behind the bunga telur basket I was holding - and I didn't think he was cute at that time but today he was. Could be the effect of the pink baju melayu he wore today, and the fact that he bought his emak a Honda City. :D

But then he walked past our table as we were eating and I heard him dragging his slippers (? shoes? sandals?) on the floor as he walked and straightaway in my head a buzzer sound goes TEEEETTTTTT.

Iklan sekejap dari drama melayu.com bila Cikgu Aspalela (memang nama sebenar) datang ke meja, tegur2 mak and asked me "kenapa awak terlalu langsing?". Cikgu last jumpa saya masa saya darjah enam kan cikgu.

Kemudian sambung balik drama melayu bila nak balik and ayah nak berborak pulak dengan Anuar kot nama dia. Mak biasa la pegi buat collection kuih bakar kek tapai dan door gift. Dengar-dengar ayat pertama macam cakap pasal aku je hah jom belah dok kat luar dengan mak cik mak cik sedara diorang belah Perak ah hentam je lah janji tak dengar cakap apa hahahaha. Masuk dalam kereta ayah cerita si budak tu sampai sekarang belum nak kahwin lagi tunggu apa tak tahu. Mak dia tak jadi besan dengan mak sebab ejatti-chan lambat sangat habis belajar pastu sekarang dah gemok gedempol plak tu. Ok itu tambahan je kehkeh.

Baiklah seterusnya berubah setting sebab heroin picisan drama cliche pegi beli tiket bas nak balik KL kat Masjid Tanah. Bas Maraliner dah abis pastu pergi tanya Jebat, "he he heheeeeiiiiiii Hang Jebat!" eh taklah cakap assalamualaikum la kat pakcik and makcik angker kaunter bas Jebat Ekspres. Aah la pernah tak mereka tersenyum manis kepadaku. Haritu beli tiket Jebat pukul 4.30 konon nak balik awal sekali bas rosak pukul 5.30 baru bas sampai. Maka tadi aku pun dengan mangkuk ayun nye pergi tanya pakcik and makcik bas Jebat tu "Ada possibility bas rosak tak esok?" oh bila lakonan semula baru nampak kedunguannya. Anyway kena sound tiga empat butir kat kaunter tu jugak padan muka aku. Dialog termasuklah "mulut lancang", "beli bas sendiri" dan "mati ni kita tak boleh nak jangka". Walaupun macho rupa paras tapi hati menangis siapa tahu sob sob sroott srooootttt. Touching sorang-sorang dalam kereta selama sepuluh minit lepas kena marah.

Habislah kisah hidup pada 1 Muharam 1433H. By the way semua novel Melayu yang kubaca (kecuali Dear Yayah dan sewaktu dengannya) semuanya menceritakan kisah sepasang lelaki dan wanita yang pada mulanya tidak suka akan satu sama lain, namun berkahwin kerana sebab-sebab yang divariasikan jalan ceritanya. Kemudian lama-lama menjadi suka pastu ada lah drama dia tapi asasnya begitulah. Membuatkanku terfikir kat Malaysia ni memang ramai ke yang kahwin kontrak atau dijodohkan oleh mak ayah / wasiat dan ikut juga walaupun tak suka? Pelik saya.

Do You Eat Poison?

Do you smear super glue onto your fingers and touch things with them?
Do you close your eyes and go cross the street? Or hammer a nail?
Do you attach a knife to a boomerang and play it?
Do you? Do you? Do you?

If you know being friends with a snake or syaiton will sooner or later bring you misfortunes, why would you want to be friends?
Why would you want to stare into the BBQ fire when you're wearing contact lenses?*
Why would you want to walk across the kitchen barefoot when somebody just broke a plate?
Why do you want to do things bad to yourself? Like, if nothing good ever came out from a relationship you once had, or from decisions you made, why would you repeat it? Why would you be friends with somebody who broke you down? Repeating anecdotes of your self-pity does NOT make someone sympathize - it makes them cringe AWAY.

Why would you wait for answers? If it wasn't given, then it isn't meant to be given. Life is not what you hear, read or see - those stories are what happened to others, not you.

Real home, my dream

What's with all the new interfaces at social websites? Blogger opting for an almost translucent one, making me squint and hunch uncomfortably forwards everytime I want to click a button. Hope they can insert some language-correcting features like in word processors, though that may be too much to ask. And with Locations, does everybody really want to know where I am? What if I lied saying I'm somewhere though I'm not? People wanting to give me a surprise party would be so disappointed.

Anyway that wasn't the point.

First-years at UM automatically get to live in the residential colleges and the unlucky rest have to kais-kais around for a place to stay. We, the Dermasiswa Perguruan KPM scholars (just found out the name, cheers Jih) were given places at the IPBA hostel. Though our current staying place requires everyone to go under the squeamish-making stare of the hanturayaic* pakcik guard each time you go in and out, I'm really thankful. Honestly I can't think of other things annoying. (Now I wrote annoying as annyong two times in a row).

The apartment I live in right now is satisfyingly pretty. Bathroom en-suite I tell you - so big can even marathon from this end to another. Shared with another one girl only. Now where am I going with this post. 

Ah yes. Real home, my dream. Uh-huh copy paste that to the title box. It's this - I wanted to install a bookshelf in my bathroom. You know, for some light reading, to take your mind off the hard work. Moreover the toilet seat wasn't given that name for just any reason either. There was also a period when I was busy as to be able to leisure read only in the bathrooms. I miss the good old booky days.

Few pictures/examples. Image credit goes to uploader.

Pretty. Yess you don't need to get up to choose. Then after a few days my books will all go kembang because of, you know, water sploshes. Must resort to toilet papers.

This one is really pretty too. If put at the other side of the room, I can even watch TV.

Hey they actually come in a few sizes.

Last one:

It's at the side, would be hard turning to your right or left if you change your mind about the book halfways.

What would be suitable reading material in there? Nothing academical - I don't want to bring them in bathrooms. Light chicklits, of course. Komik RM6.50 yang sekarang dah naik harga seringgit. Lustiges Taschenbuch (anybody generous enough to add to my measly collection?). And this:

Yalah your body is already hard at work so why tire your mind too. Keke. Ini pun dua minggu baca baru habis. No I don't own any copy. Why is there a need to explain that anyway? Borrowed one from a friend and let it stay in the bathroom. Sorry! ;)

Hey there's actually a lot of words inside. Smallish font, too.

끝~!

*he really works 22 hours a day. We wondered why he is ALWAYS there lurking at the guard post , hence the nickname. There's another pakcik filling in for the remaining two hours.

sometimes i have the notion to change my blog title but it fits the purpose too much..

selamat hari raya.

ya adik lelaki baru melintas di hadapan. main ragbi masa bulan puasa, dia dah berlaga lutut dengan hulk hogan. ligamen bengkak, tak perlu tanya kenapa dia seorang yang cedera sedangkan hulk hogan itu beraya bahagia. adik lelaki kini bertongkat terhegeh-hegeh. tapi sebenarnya perkara biasa, bukan itu fokus utama entri kali ini.

kami pergi beraya merentas melaka dari hujung sini ke hujung sana. singgah di masjid untuk solat. adik lelaki (selepas ini boboi) solat kena duduk. ok kalau bawa kerusi lipat pun, kalau ruang solat di masjid letak di tingkat dua sama juga hegeh-hegeh mendaki. bukan boboi saja. sampai-sampai jemaah baru bersurai lepas solat zohor. nampak ada atok berpaut for dear life pada handrail tangga masa hendak turun. hari ni pun. dekat- dekat ledang, masjid macam itu juga ciri binaannya. tangga kemain banyak. ini tak patut untuk dikatakan tapi kan memang orang-orang tua yang ramai ke sejid. larat pula mereka tak campur gigih tabah lagi.

fokus entri kali ini ialah kita takkan perasan pun satu benda itu bila takde kena mengena dengan kita. ignorance truly is bliss.

perisa kiwi lemon

tamat musim durian, bermulalah musim memutus. Heh. Ada musim jugak ke. Putus tunang dengan gepren yang boleh tahan la baik dan biasa-biasa (di mata penonton drama yang curious hampir membunuh kucing) pastu selamba in a relationship denagn ciki girl yg kelihatan lebih urban berdasarkan profile picture di facebook. Ya profile picture memang namanya profile picture takyah la nak tulis default picture ke DP ke stop trying to act special. Berbalik kepada relationship yang baru tadi. Maka memanglah meminta kutukan hangat dari penonton, tu lah dari awal sapa suruh tayang drama kat public channel. Kalau nak tayang jugak cari cable channel yang orang kena beli baru lah agree. Ok merapu.

Oh sebenarnya nak buat eksperimen tengok kalau tulis Melayu dengan penuh perasaan ade tak short form ke ape benda ngarut-ngarut eja yang keluar. Smlm nampak mcm ade short form banyak sgt tp hari ni tak perasan pulak. Oo memang banyak pun tp kalau monolog kot, kalau naratif kurang sedikit. Mungkin mungkin. Eh tapi blog memang la monolog. Kan? Sebab dia rhyme. Mana tau derived from. Lagipun mana ada orang berbalas-balas pantun dalam blog. Eh ade kot. Haaaaaahhhh.

Jangan minum kopi malam-malam kalau satu-satunya ibadah yang diintend malam itu adalah tido. Kalau mahu juga tido segera setengah jam lepas minum before the caffeine kicks in. Sebab once it does I'm sorry no mercy.

randomness w/o a formula

1.Came across an entry yesterday in which someone wrote about herself trying hard to separate her real and virtual life. Led me to imagine that she maybe works as a big shot investment banker on wall street in the day but fangirls anonymously every night on wordpress. Which is cool. And made me want to separate mine too. Like, having real contact with real friends instead of clicking on their facebook profiles to get the updates. Which is a bad example.

2. My brother got his AS Levels results day before yesterday and literally slumped in disappointment. I think 14 points is really good, considering he took accounts n economics, which he never learnt in school and had to catch up in the one year he was doing the AS. Plus when compared to another pathetic, shit-lazy attempter who still failed to scrape enough points after doing the same thing for three years, i think my brother deserves a kenduri doa selamat. Anyway. Maybe 14points aren't enough to get you admitted as Ashraf Haziq's junior. You see, he wants to try to get into schools smack in the middle of London. How jealous can you get? ...Well not much if you consider the current riot and the living costs he'll have to face. ... But I'm still jealous!

3. I had a four-month holiday and wanted to work 'to meet new people'. As fate twisted and turned I landed on this current occupation, which allows me to really meet people but make no new contacts. On second thought its a good thing actually; I'm not that good at keeping in touch. And you have to go through the usual, reserved-for-strangers social niceties for a few minutes only; as opposed to making a new friend: kena bersopan santun, kenal hati budi dulu sikit baru berani nak gurau kasar ke  cubit-cubit lemak ke apa ke.

4. Bila tulis Melayu ni mesti teringat minggu orientasi UM, ada sekali tu panggil penceramah tu dtg dari Jobstreet dia kata kena berani ckp English, pstu dah last-last dia suruh tanya soalan and looked straight at my face but I was a loser chicken and only looked back at him sending him my question telepathically before getting the dial-up connection interrupted by another student asking. I regretted it to this day. Not because my qs was an all-important, world-changing one, but because I had no balls I was a chicken.

5. I hope everybody found a better part of themselves (however tiny) this Ramadhan. Lets resolve to exercise them until the next one, inshaAllah.