Ending is the New Beginning

FINALLY I AM GRADUATING WOOHOOO

Technically not yet, as the convocation is in October. But I take it that finally, finally, letzendlich I am finally approaching the end of my degree.

You know how long this journey takes.. Orang lain dah masters beranak ranak. Kihkih. Rezeki kan dapat lain-lain.

Practicum ended with a bang (lol) on Teachers' Day. My first ever. Awww. Students were so cute. Sad faces when saying goodbye. And having students spending their parents' money on you makes me feel so guilty, but I like getting them presents all the same!

Pictures above was from Teachers' Day. Theme for the teachers was black and white and grey lol

I factory reset my phone during the third last week so these are the only pictures left haha. Too lazy to look for them in the memory card.

Alhamdulillah, thank you for the lessons and the memories, SEMESTA!

There will be more to come...

I got into class on Wednesday and taught the rowdy crowd as usual. When some of them are doing an exercise, I went around the class and noticed a student telling his friend off: "Cikgulah! Cikgu!" And then the friend shoved something under the desk. I went. And saw it was a comic book. Lawak Kampus, nasib baik tak hentai.
So I took the comic and put it away in my handbag, thinking of returning it after class. Yang tuan punya tu dah marah dah. Cakap, mahal ok, kau bayar balik. I went on with class as usual. At the end of class, biasalah students came and help with packing up, the girls nak salam cium tangan lagi plak tu so huru-haralah.
The day went on and it's only until early evening that I remembered about the comic. And I noticed one thing: as I put and take things in and out of my handbag during the day, I have not seen the comic at all. A student must have taken it out. I was really angry. Angry sebab they dared to open my bag and take it out without me knowing. It's not mine, but it is still stealing. And I was really really angry so I resolved to bring them in front of the GPK HEM.
Pagi ni kelas dengan diorang. I was a nervous wreck. I did not know what to do. I did not want to tell anybody but I wanted advice, and the teachers I wanted to talk to wasn't in their room so I had to see somebody I feel comfortable with. So I went and asked. But the teacher went on and asked another teacher so news got round like that.
After class this morning, I called the two of them to my desk and I went on with the questioning. Tapi tak setel. I called them to the teachers' room. The moment diorang sampai, I said, let's go see Ust. Wan. Terus budak tu nangis.

Anyway in the end aku pun nangis jugak kahkahkah.

Masih lagi, masih Shah Rukh Khan~

Sebab siang tadi TV3 tayang Kabhi Khushi Kabhi Gham, dan Sabtu ni plak konsert Temptation Reloaded tapi tak boleh pegi sebab nak pegi Raub, dan perasaannya agak masam di situ. Dan sebab Aiman bash tadi, dia kata suruh cari Bangla seorang sebab umur dah tua masih lagi minat Hindustan, maka nak lah, tulis post ini. Hahaha.

Tak bermakna pun.

Anyway permulaan minat Hindustan mestilah Kuch Kuch Hota Hai, darjah lima tahun 1998. Permulaan semua orang nan sebaya kot. Anyway mungkin ramai dah move on, minat KPop, minat JPop, minat Metal Indie Ska dan berbagai lagi genre musik yang berbeda-beda. Berbalik kepada KKHH, filem memang ikonik, tahap hafal step dan lagu dia semayang masa anak Anjali kecil pergi summer camp.

Sekarang pun tengok masih sengih-sengih, sampaikan bila ada suara latar cakap "Miss Briganza, ah haa~" pun boleh masuk tu on cue.

Tahun 2008 kot, SRK datang Melaka, masa dia dapat Datuk tu kan. Hahaha. Ni dak Ena la tadi ni, dok flashback. Dia kata masa SRK datang Eye On Melaka yang dah cabut tu, dia baru dapat lesen, pastu kitorang plak tinggal dia dalam kereta suruh reverse parking. Pastu dia sedih dan minta tolong abang yang parking belakang. Angah pegi kejar SRK, dia dapat salam woo~ aku plak yang terhegeh-hegeh nak ambil gambar tak lepas-lepas. Tapi, memang dapat tengok depan-depan hihi. Masa tu dekat Taming Sari, aku berdiri jauh dah, rupanya Cayenne tersebut berhenti betul-betul depan mata weeehuu~

Tapi gambar ni dekat Eye On Melaka. Dia senyum sebenarnya. Tapi bila tengah snap terus pusing. Geramm

Mak andak OP masa tu. Dia bagi gambar. Gambar tu dah hilang sebab upload kat Friendster pastu didelete semua masa dia nak rebranding. Sob

Another end, another beginning

Tomorrow I go back to the university for the start of my final year. One last semester at the teacher training institute, then off I go to school for practicum. Then the wait for the call for posting. Which I'm sure is going to be a long one.
This semester break is by far the most eventful. I met old friends, reconnected. I took charge of a lot of things- it was small scale I know but it was a start... I feel like I'm starting to grow up, and though it's like a budding root trying to break through the surface of the soil, it's still a start.

It's raining.

It's gloomy and melancholic so I'll give in to my heartache.

Kereta api Pemikiran

Faculty organised a charity event with anak-anak yatim Rumah Kebajikan Anak Yatim Al-Khairiyah Batu 1 1/2, Sungai Pinang, Klang. It was in May, I think.
Rumah okay. Bilik macam dorm. Tapi mungkin kurang selesa bila ramai-ramai cuma share tiga, empat shower dan tandas. Anak-anak solat berjemaah setiap waktu. Bukan anak yatim saja di sini. Anak-anak orang miskin pun ada. Anak-anaknya dah biasa dengan tetamu. Saja-saja je diorang datang dan duduk atas riba. Nampak budak berbaju biru dalam gambar? Nama dia dah lupa lah. Panggil Afiq lah. Hehe
Afiq degil. Suka jauhkan diri. Kalau kena duduk dalam kumpulan, tak pernahnya reti duduk sekali. Dia duduk di belakang dewan. Sorang-sorang. Tapi nampak kasih sayangnya pada adik-adik yang muda. Kami satu kumpulan. Main musical chair, kita hantar dua wakil. Bila musik berhenti, Afiq dapat kerusi. Ahli kumpulan kita yang lagi satu, yang lagi kecik, tak dapat. Cepat-cepat dia bangun dan dudukkan budak tu atas kerusi. Kiranya dia terkeluarlah. Terus aku bagi air ribena sekotak. Dia ingat orang tak nampak.
Kalau ada aktiviti dia memang ikut serta. Tapi tak mahu mesra dengan orang. Dengan adik-adik je dia okay. Bila panggil duduk sebelah, dia datang. Bila panggil amik gambar, macam tu lah. Malu tapi mau. Ke tak mau. Tak tahu T___T
Di akhir hari, kumpulan kita menang tiga hamper. Dia dengan seorang lagi share satu hamper. Terus buka nak dibahagi-bahagi makanan dalam tu. Kebetulan masa tu dah di luar dewan, isteri pengetua rumah nampak dan kata, "Bagi lah bonda sikit," terus dia bagi. Dia cuma ambil biskut sekotak. Yang lain habis dia bagi-bagikan. Aku suruh simpan, nanti lapar, malam-malam, makanlah. 

Dia jawab, "Kak, kitorang tak perlukan semua ni."

Heartbreak.

Oh ya, salah satu sponsornya Mayang Sari Resort, terima kasih!

Kecil je nama di nombor enam T__T

People in their 20s build their dreams, people in their 30s achieve them

Nowadays scrolling down the Facebook homepage can lead to emotional distress. I saw a senior in school being congratulated for her solo exhibition at an art gallery. A friend who shared desks with me at school set up her own company and is reaping the profits. The others are working, gaining recognition, are proudly displaying their offspring. Hahaha. That is an achievement of its own, okay? Watching schoolmates, old friends and acquaintances building their dreams and being successful at it makes me feel so hopeless in my own endless struggle. Of course, less people post about their failures so I can feel a tiny wee bit superior. They share happy moments which of course, warmed a part of my heart when I see it -

Well famous quotes are right, all that seizing the day stuff - you live the moment, hakuna matata, carpe diem. Sebab if you want to do a thing, find time to do it now, squeeze it into your schedules, sbb nanti in future you would regret not doing it.
But at the same time, that quote 'things happen for a reason' is also true. My faith even depends on believing it. Even knowing this I need to whine once in a while. Duh

I went to KUSESS for a one-week visit. Observed German language classes, luckily the students' socks didn't smell that bad. And their mistakes were so damn funny. I must exercise care not to laugh at my future student's mistakes. Anyway. I had a micro-teaching session and my heart dropped at the prospect of me failing miserably as a teacher.
I thought my methods are good enough, my exercises good enough, explanations clear enough. Though fairly speaking, it was my first time taking the role of a teacher, and there's always that infinite room for improvement. But delivering the things you learnt theoretically and making sure other real, living people with different psychological traits and learning styles are gaining from it is a big deal weh. I explained a bit of grammar, turned away from the white board and was met with blank faces. My brain was whirring hysterically with 'what do I do now?' Those were my friends I was teaching, whose German language abilities matches mine. What about schoolkids? Form 1 students who wasn't even sure why they were sitting there in the first place?

I heard from another fellow who was doing his practical, that he lost interest in the job after a month. There's this big looming shadow that's waiting to engulf me in the same dark state...
Anyway. One thing that's sure to motivate me is the need to see that what I started will gain compliments. hahaha. I'm vain. I want to be recognized for my efforts. I want people to tell me I did a good job, to feel that satisfaction when my teachlings (? too lazy to think of a better word) are able to function by themselves. So I must teach them well. If they don't want to learn, I'll put them in a headlock and force them to swallow things whole. There's no escaping the fact that most of the teachers themselves are responsible for failures in the syllabus / programs / curricula / visions missions and stuff. Not many are ready to change from their usual norms.

Of course, I'm young, hot-blooded and motivated, almost roaringly waiting at the starting line. Let's pray that I'll be forever young, hot-blooded and motivated for the rest of my teaching career. However long that lasts. Hey, I want to be rich too...