Sabotaged Episodes

1. I used to work at a bowling alley once. This girl who works one shift with me are jealous because more people pay attention to me than to her. She's ugly, by the way.
   So she told stories about me to my other colleagues behind my back. And it was not until about one month later somebody asked me: "Why does she hate you so much?"
   And I could only blink back at her in suprise, because I have completely no idea that she despises me. Such a two-faced tray (talam dua muka).
   
   
2. Back when I was in Form 3 I wasn't such a prominent figure like I am today.*
   I was a prefect, yes, and that was it. One fateful Monday, however, a warden called me to a classroom full of sixth-formers. In front of the class, the following happened:
   
   Pn. XXX: Budak-budak asrama ada makan durian tak semalam?
   Saya: Ada.
   Pn XXX: Kenapa awak semua buang kulit2 durian tu dekat koridor kelas?
   Saya: Eh, iye ke? Saya tak tahu. Saya tak makan pun.
   Pn. XXX: Masa ni la awak nk ngaku awk x mkn. Awak jgn nk tipu saya. Berani awk ye?
   Saya: Eh betul, Pn XXX, sy mmg tak mkn durian langsung. Kat rumah pun x mkn.
   Pn. XXX: Tak payah tipu saya. Ada org bgtau saya, dia nampak awk makan durian tu semalam. Dia bagitahu lagi, awak yang suruh buang kulit durian tu dekat tong sampah luar kelas. Pandai2 je awak?
   Saya: Sumpah saya tak makan. Saya x tahu pun diorg ade makan durian kat kelas smlm. Saya egt kat asrama. Sy mmg x mkn durian, nnt sy pening n muntah2.
   Pn. XXX: Saya tak percaya awak. Kenapa awk tipu? Awk dgr sini. Nnt awk pegi kutip kulit durian tu semua sampai bersih, pegi buang. Lepas tu awk balik kelas. Pegi sekarang!
   Saya: Baik.
   
   I left, and I cried on the way back. It was actually still OK to be scolded, though out loud and in front of a classroomful of older girls. Only the thing that hurts so much is that she won't believe me at all.
   
   
3. I went shopping today, and I wanted to buy the long shirt with kain pelekat patterns, like all the girls (in Malaysia at least) are wearing these days. I nearly bought one at Jaspal, but the better part of my mind got me so I didn't. I went then to Jusco to look for cheaper ones. And I found them waiting impatiently for me on racks, so I grabbed a few and went to the fitting rooms.
   Pitiful results await me, however. The shirts are cut straight with no darts like usual shirts do. You know, xde pinggang. And on me, they look like real kain pelekat yang dibalut-balut ke pokok. Tak cantek langsung.
   I am sabotaged by the Malaysian fashion industry. Why do they introduce trends that may only be worn by stick-thin girls? UNFAIR!!

*TIPU - sama je dulu noob, skrg pun noob