Dulu Comel, Sekarang Comot

1. Ketika tadika, saya seringkali lambat ke kelas kerana bangun lambat. Walaupun kata pepatah sering menyatakan bahawa "lenturlah buluh biar dari rebungnya" tapi saya telah pun menjadi buluh yang liat sejak saya masih rebung lagi. Tadika akan bermula pukul 8 pagi. Emak saya yang ketika itu mengajar di SK Green Road, Kuching, Sarawak (kelas sesi petang) akan mengangkat saya masuk ke dalam bilik air untuk membangunkan saya. Saya sangatlah degil.
2. Sesungguhnya ustazah yang mengajar saya di Tadika Az-Zahrah, Kem Penrissen, Kuching, Sarawak telah pun fed-up dengan perangai saya ketika itu. Pada suatu hari, saya lambat seperti biasa. Pukul 9 pagi barulah saya sampai di tadika yang terletak di hujung kawasan perumahan kami. Saya pun mengetuk pintu dengan macho. "Assalamualaikum~!" kata saya. Seketika saya menunggu jawapan ustazah yang telah saya lupakan namanya. Sekejapan itu saya terdengar: "Dah pukul 9 dahh!!" kata ustazah saya. Saya terkejut. Dengan hati yang lara saya pun pergi lah balik ke rumah. Sepanjang jalan saya menangis.
3. Bila sampai di rumah emak saya pun bertanya dengan garang. "Kenapa balik ni?" Saya pun menjawab dengan berkata: "Ustazah tak bagi masuk!" Lepas itu saya pun masuk ke bilik dan sambung tido.
4. Besok harinya, saya tidak lagi pergi ke tadika. Saya happy je, walaupun tak dapat sijil graduasi tadika, dan tidak dapat ambil gambar dengan topi yang ala-ala topi degree itu, saya dah lupa namanya. Lagipun saya dah pun pandai membaca dan menulis sejak umur saya 5 tahun. Emak saya yang ajar dengan cara menulis suku kata di dinding.
5. Dua hari kemudian ustazah saya pun datang ke rumah kerana risau saya ponteng. Saya yang pergi buka pintu. Bila saya nampak sahaja ustazah saya, saya terus berlari dengan pantas ke dalam bilik. Bahu saya terlanggar dinding, namun saya tahan juga kesakitannya demi dapat melarikan diri. Saya bertindak tangkas, mengunci pintu dan melompat ke atas katil. Seketika kemudian terdengar jeritan emak saya. "Zatii, nak tadika lagi tak?" katanya. Saya pun apa lagi, seperti orang mengantuk disorongkan bantal lah. Segera saya menyahut; "Tak nakk!"
6. Bermula itu saya pun tidak lagi pergi ke tadika.

Why oh Whyyy.

I am currently undergoing a really frustating phase. I need an escape route. I need to tell someone whatever crossed into my mind at that precise moment. I couldn't stop myself. I am embarassed at times but I simply don't stop myself. I tried writing in a diary but since I am lazier than ever before, I couldn't write longer than 5 minutes.

I have a housemate named N. I tell her everything. I didn't listen to anybody, I just want ppl to listen to me. Geez. Bengang sendiri.

The Indicator of the Closeness to Reality

Wenn ich nicht ich wäre
wäre ich nicht hier.

If a teacher were a student, he / she would also day-dream in class.

Good. This shows I understand the subjunctive. But subjunctive as an indicator of the closeness to reality? No. It merely is a way to express wishes while showing the world that you know it is only a wish.
It is also used hypothetically. I can imagine, too, a mechanics question with lots of wäre and würde.

I can imagine, too, a diary entry.

Ramdomeness

I have absolutely nothing to write about today. Usually I have at least one little point to write about, but today I am taking my chances. Because I find other people (not you, of course) just yap away at their blogs posting entries with no relevant contents whatsoever, and they're not ashamed of it. So I am going to try one post and see if I don't delete it in the near future.

1. Can we wash clothes using seawater? Will it dry stiff? Is it enough? We know that there are minerals in it, will it then corrode the material? What if you live on boats? Do you have to turn back to shore every week to pick the laundry up?
2. Last week in German class, we were asked to draw our dream home. And I drew what crossed first into my mind, a cute cottage with four legs. It can move, OK. But mind you, I don't have imagination so rich, I took the idea from an Enid Blyton story. You know, the storybooks you can buy for RM9.90. But price has gone up, they cost RM12.90 now.
3. Afterwards we were asked to stand in front of the class and promote our houses to others, and make them rent it. Dammit. Dahlaa aku mengarut. Anyways. Being the cool person that I am, I went and told them about my house. I even threw in a Navigator (so the sleeping inhabitants wouldn't get lost when the house wanders about) and a balancing system from Ferrari (so your things doesn't get thrown about inside). And I gave a special offer, too, ein einmaliges Angebot at RM50 per month for rent.
4. Believe it or not, nobody wants to rent my house. The idiots. One would think they'd scramble for the offer. Imagine spending nothing for fuel!
5. But maybe because I kutuked their houses before. Heh. Karma is so true.
6. Once I called my classmates an 'Affe', the other time 'geil' in front of my German lecturer (she just laughed until her face turned all red) and my friends were too lazy to open a dictionary at that time. So I managed to get away and they could do nothing but stare at me reproachfully. Sorry, mates. Tee hee hee.
7. I always want new clothes. I couldn't stop myself. Well, I could, when I have no more money laa of course.
8. People used to call me 'gemuk', 'tembam', 'chubby', 'debab' etc. No point telling me now that I'm not because it got to me already. Anyway. Sometimes in front of the mirror I believe that these people are stupid. Ha ha. I know anyway that I'm not that fat, but on me there's still some excess baggage. So let me jog. And pray that I'll be kurus. ;)

Enough crap already. Hey, suprisingly, this satisfies me. Ba ha ha!

Today

I decided to tukar. My eldest daughter will be the bibik, and the bibik will be my daughter. So that my youngest son could be with my former daughter, no sumbang mahrams included. I will tell them this later.

I Have Five Children: Three Sons, Two Daughters. And a Bibik.

When I first came, I didn't think that I could ever get attached with this place. Or the people. But I was dead WRONG. To this date, I didn't gone back home for a month already. Quite a feat, really. Back in GMi I used to go back to Melaka almost every weekend. There's also always my sister's at Cheras as an alternative. A month here is unimaginable at first. I didn't think I could ever fit in. No matter. If you tried to go with the flow, people gonna start accepting you, no matter how retard you are. Ahaks.

And so. I have five children. Three sons, two daughters. These all started with the stupid rule: It is compulsory for all female Muslim students to wear baju kurung to class. Very culture-preserving. But unfortunately, I look like a makcik in baju kurung, due to the fact that most of my bajus was tailored by my mother. You know mums. They like to make you wear or buy things that are bigger than your size.

"Nanti kau gemuk boleh pakai lagi," katanya.

And so, I always look like a makcik. (But that was before laa. Now I'm a little bit more confident. My classmates taught me how to wear tudung, kan. Ahaks)

One fateful day, however, Adi said:

"Hey kau nampak macam mak orang."

I merely grinned. Little did I know that these kiddles went back home and discussed my maternal appearance. Lol. The next day, voila! I have now kids, already arranged according to age.

1. The youngest is the tallest (it amazes me too)
2. The eldest is the darkest
3. I have a daughter-in-law already from my second son
4. My first daughter is very able in the kitchen
5. My second daughter might bring home a son-in-law soon.

Like all nicknames or spitznamen or whatever, you could never like it at first. I was like, "do i look that old?" at first. But time passes and they persist, and I grew somewhat attached.

At home, I called for my mother just for fun.
"EMAK!!"
"E~maaakkk~"
"Mak!"
"Mak, tengok Awang ni!"

And her respond is always:
"Nak apa lah?!" irritably.

Now I know how it feels to be at the receiving end. Huu~ dah laa diorang ni suke gaduh, pukul2. Penat, penat...

P/s: My kids, they’re fatherless at the moment. Pity them. :-P

The March Is Here

I was introduced to facebook in the year 2007. Hud Wahab invited me to join. Already at first, I was hyped up and hooked. Games, Quizzes, Surveys... I was seeing such things for the first time.

But first, a little bit about Facebook.
It was created at Harvard by a Mark Zuckerberg, who was looking for something to do in order to get his mind off a girl. He created first thefacebook (4th Feb 2004), whose membership is restricted to students of Harvard College only. In March 2004 it expanded to colleges of Stanford, Columbia, and Yale. Facebook launched a high school version in September 2005. In September 26, 2006, facebook announced that it will open its membership to regular simple people like us, who are over 13 years old and have a valid e-mail address. Their HQ is set up in Dublin, Ireland, with 700 employees round the world.


What makes me so addicted to it?

1. Facebook allows people to stalk others without they knowing. Just add them as a friend, they will not know no more if you're looking at their pictures, grinning (or grimacing) heavily...
2. Games! I have not a computer, or a PlayStation and whatnot. Plus the fast-pacing games never appealed to me anyway. Gaming at Facebook is slow, step by step, and I wouldnt have to see my character die tragically.
3. Response is quick. The Notifications tab is the best thing ever created. I'll know at the moment one do stuff. This is better than chatting. Because my brain works a little bit slow, you know. I couldn't respond fast enough when I chat or speak. So commenting, writing on walls is good.
4. It is very organized. True its quite hard to get to know this thing at first. But once you got the kick, you'll sail smooth. I like the Pinnwand-Dialog (or Wall-to-Wall) the most. This helps people with faulty memory, like me.
   
5. You can comment on Just About EVERYTHING. Need I say more?