I have a friend Gorilla.

1. I should have paid more attention. I should have known that friends is more than dutifully liking Facebook updates and grinning inwardly at Twitter jokes.
2. To make sure I don't forget, I made a mental note. That's apparently a mistake, because it felt like I've accomplished something after that (the note making part). Because after some time I forgot that I had made a mental note AND the thing I don't want to forget altogether.
3. Now I've taken to jotting down reminders on every surface that allows the small sphere at the tip of a ball pen to roll and dispense the viscous ink (credits to Wiki) onto it. The draft for this post is written at the back of a pamphlet for the National Online Quiz 6. 
4. yes i draft my blog posts. well, not actual drafts maybe, just strings of phrases so i wont forget the key idea.
5. Actually the full draft is for another post, but the title to this post is an afterthought I wrote at the very end of the page and it's suits my current mood - so.
6. It's a song from a camping trip in Darjah 2. 

I have a friend Gorilla. Gorilla's name is Toby. Toby's friend is (say somebody's name here). This is how he/she dances. Ooh Ooh Oooh.

Cue to the one whose name was called who must then dance the gorilla dance - just random sumoish foot-stamping and clapping your hands above your head. We sang this during ice-breaking, which is why it's always there like an original soundtrack when I think about friends and the people around me.

Bila orang kejut tidur buat bunyi "Mmm?!" konon-konon dah sedar.

Two years back emak told a story of her officemate who saw our family picture and wanted me as her menantu. Based on the picture only. Heh mak cik I sincerely think you were duped. Anyway today the mak cik held a wedding and right at the door we saw the boy (no he wasn't the one getting married but his older brother) sebab makcik and pakcik tengah amik gambar atas pelamin - kita orang datang lambat, pukul 2 keh keh nasib baik nasi ada lagi. I didn't want to go at first, because we went to the same couple's reception yesterday - bride's family - but since both parents and in-laws are friends of my parents, we were invited to both. My emak knows how I liked going to weddings so when I told her I'm rain-checking today, she fussed a lot and told me "it was just jokes what we told you before", "yesterday was my other friend and she will see that you didn't come to this one" maybe thinking I didn't want to go because of the story. She even waited until I was ready before getting out of the house when she usually got into the car first.

So we arrived at the wedding, and at the door the boy greeted ayah first, asking "oh ni dari Sungai Udang ke?" and there was this total facepalm moment when my ayah said "aah betul, kalau tak kita ni dah berbesan" and tunjuk ke arah aku plak tu adoiyaiiiii nak tutup muka dengan pinggan je rasanya. Tapi since my best ability is pretending not to hear i managed to grin straight-faced at him though embarrassment is like oozing out from our nostrils.

Anyway my parents didn't quite remember if that was the boy but I think it was him, he was there on my aunt's wedding when the story first got round and the lot of my relatives were like pointing me out and pointing him out - helluva lot of facepalm moments, I was totally hiding behind the bunga telur basket I was holding - and I didn't think he was cute at that time but today he was. Could be the effect of the pink baju melayu he wore today, and the fact that he bought his emak a Honda City. :D

But then he walked past our table as we were eating and I heard him dragging his slippers (? shoes? sandals?) on the floor as he walked and straightaway in my head a buzzer sound goes TEEEETTTTTT.

Iklan sekejap dari drama melayu.com bila Cikgu Aspalela (memang nama sebenar) datang ke meja, tegur2 mak and asked me "kenapa awak terlalu langsing?". Cikgu last jumpa saya masa saya darjah enam kan cikgu.

Kemudian sambung balik drama melayu bila nak balik and ayah nak berborak pulak dengan Anuar kot nama dia. Mak biasa la pegi buat collection kuih bakar kek tapai dan door gift. Dengar-dengar ayat pertama macam cakap pasal aku je hah jom belah dok kat luar dengan mak cik mak cik sedara diorang belah Perak ah hentam je lah janji tak dengar cakap apa hahahaha. Masuk dalam kereta ayah cerita si budak tu sampai sekarang belum nak kahwin lagi tunggu apa tak tahu. Mak dia tak jadi besan dengan mak sebab ejatti-chan lambat sangat habis belajar pastu sekarang dah gemok gedempol plak tu. Ok itu tambahan je kehkeh.

Baiklah seterusnya berubah setting sebab heroin picisan drama cliche pegi beli tiket bas nak balik KL kat Masjid Tanah. Bas Maraliner dah abis pastu pergi tanya Jebat, "he he heheeeeiiiiiii Hang Jebat!" eh taklah cakap assalamualaikum la kat pakcik and makcik angker kaunter bas Jebat Ekspres. Aah la pernah tak mereka tersenyum manis kepadaku. Haritu beli tiket Jebat pukul 4.30 konon nak balik awal sekali bas rosak pukul 5.30 baru bas sampai. Maka tadi aku pun dengan mangkuk ayun nye pergi tanya pakcik and makcik bas Jebat tu "Ada possibility bas rosak tak esok?" oh bila lakonan semula baru nampak kedunguannya. Anyway kena sound tiga empat butir kat kaunter tu jugak padan muka aku. Dialog termasuklah "mulut lancang", "beli bas sendiri" dan "mati ni kita tak boleh nak jangka". Walaupun macho rupa paras tapi hati menangis siapa tahu sob sob sroott srooootttt. Touching sorang-sorang dalam kereta selama sepuluh minit lepas kena marah.

Habislah kisah hidup pada 1 Muharam 1433H. By the way semua novel Melayu yang kubaca (kecuali Dear Yayah dan sewaktu dengannya) semuanya menceritakan kisah sepasang lelaki dan wanita yang pada mulanya tidak suka akan satu sama lain, namun berkahwin kerana sebab-sebab yang divariasikan jalan ceritanya. Kemudian lama-lama menjadi suka pastu ada lah drama dia tapi asasnya begitulah. Membuatkanku terfikir kat Malaysia ni memang ramai ke yang kahwin kontrak atau dijodohkan oleh mak ayah / wasiat dan ikut juga walaupun tak suka? Pelik saya.

Do You Eat Poison?

Do you smear super glue onto your fingers and touch things with them?
Do you close your eyes and go cross the street? Or hammer a nail?
Do you attach a knife to a boomerang and play it?
Do you? Do you? Do you?

If you know being friends with a snake or syaiton will sooner or later bring you misfortunes, why would you want to be friends?
Why would you want to stare into the BBQ fire when you're wearing contact lenses?*
Why would you want to walk across the kitchen barefoot when somebody just broke a plate?
Why do you want to do things bad to yourself? Like, if nothing good ever came out from a relationship you once had, or from decisions you made, why would you repeat it? Why would you be friends with somebody who broke you down? Repeating anecdotes of your self-pity does NOT make someone sympathize - it makes them cringe AWAY.

Why would you wait for answers? If it wasn't given, then it isn't meant to be given. Life is not what you hear, read or see - those stories are what happened to others, not you.

Real home, my dream

What's with all the new interfaces at social websites? Blogger opting for an almost translucent one, making me squint and hunch uncomfortably forwards everytime I want to click a button. Hope they can insert some language-correcting features like in word processors, though that may be too much to ask. And with Locations, does everybody really want to know where I am? What if I lied saying I'm somewhere though I'm not? People wanting to give me a surprise party would be so disappointed.

Anyway that wasn't the point.

First-years at UM automatically get to live in the residential colleges and the unlucky rest have to kais-kais around for a place to stay. We, the Dermasiswa Perguruan KPM scholars (just found out the name, cheers Jih) were given places at the IPBA hostel. Though our current staying place requires everyone to go under the squeamish-making stare of the hanturayaic* pakcik guard each time you go in and out, I'm really thankful. Honestly I can't think of other things annoying. (Now I wrote annoying as annyong two times in a row).

The apartment I live in right now is satisfyingly pretty. Bathroom en-suite I tell you - so big can even marathon from this end to another. Shared with another one girl only. Now where am I going with this post. 

Ah yes. Real home, my dream. Uh-huh copy paste that to the title box. It's this - I wanted to install a bookshelf in my bathroom. You know, for some light reading, to take your mind off the hard work. Moreover the toilet seat wasn't given that name for just any reason either. There was also a period when I was busy as to be able to leisure read only in the bathrooms. I miss the good old booky days.

Few pictures/examples. Image credit goes to uploader.

Pretty. Yess you don't need to get up to choose. Then after a few days my books will all go kembang because of, you know, water sploshes. Must resort to toilet papers.

This one is really pretty too. If put at the other side of the room, I can even watch TV.

Hey they actually come in a few sizes.

Last one:

It's at the side, would be hard turning to your right or left if you change your mind about the book halfways.

What would be suitable reading material in there? Nothing academical - I don't want to bring them in bathrooms. Light chicklits, of course. Komik RM6.50 yang sekarang dah naik harga seringgit. Lustiges Taschenbuch (anybody generous enough to add to my measly collection?). And this:

Yalah your body is already hard at work so why tire your mind too. Keke. Ini pun dua minggu baca baru habis. No I don't own any copy. Why is there a need to explain that anyway? Borrowed one from a friend and let it stay in the bathroom. Sorry! ;)

Hey there's actually a lot of words inside. Smallish font, too.

끝~!

*he really works 22 hours a day. We wondered why he is ALWAYS there lurking at the guard post , hence the nickname. There's another pakcik filling in for the remaining two hours.

sometimes i have the notion to change my blog title but it fits the purpose too much..

selamat hari raya.

ya adik lelaki baru melintas di hadapan. main ragbi masa bulan puasa, dia dah berlaga lutut dengan hulk hogan. ligamen bengkak, tak perlu tanya kenapa dia seorang yang cedera sedangkan hulk hogan itu beraya bahagia. adik lelaki kini bertongkat terhegeh-hegeh. tapi sebenarnya perkara biasa, bukan itu fokus utama entri kali ini.

kami pergi beraya merentas melaka dari hujung sini ke hujung sana. singgah di masjid untuk solat. adik lelaki (selepas ini boboi) solat kena duduk. ok kalau bawa kerusi lipat pun, kalau ruang solat di masjid letak di tingkat dua sama juga hegeh-hegeh mendaki. bukan boboi saja. sampai-sampai jemaah baru bersurai lepas solat zohor. nampak ada atok berpaut for dear life pada handrail tangga masa hendak turun. hari ni pun. dekat- dekat ledang, masjid macam itu juga ciri binaannya. tangga kemain banyak. ini tak patut untuk dikatakan tapi kan memang orang-orang tua yang ramai ke sejid. larat pula mereka tak campur gigih tabah lagi.

fokus entri kali ini ialah kita takkan perasan pun satu benda itu bila takde kena mengena dengan kita. ignorance truly is bliss.

perisa kiwi lemon

tamat musim durian, bermulalah musim memutus. Heh. Ada musim jugak ke. Putus tunang dengan gepren yang boleh tahan la baik dan biasa-biasa (di mata penonton drama yang curious hampir membunuh kucing) pastu selamba in a relationship denagn ciki girl yg kelihatan lebih urban berdasarkan profile picture di facebook. Ya profile picture memang namanya profile picture takyah la nak tulis default picture ke DP ke stop trying to act special. Berbalik kepada relationship yang baru tadi. Maka memanglah meminta kutukan hangat dari penonton, tu lah dari awal sapa suruh tayang drama kat public channel. Kalau nak tayang jugak cari cable channel yang orang kena beli baru lah agree. Ok merapu.

Oh sebenarnya nak buat eksperimen tengok kalau tulis Melayu dengan penuh perasaan ade tak short form ke ape benda ngarut-ngarut eja yang keluar. Smlm nampak mcm ade short form banyak sgt tp hari ni tak perasan pulak. Oo memang banyak pun tp kalau monolog kot, kalau naratif kurang sedikit. Mungkin mungkin. Eh tapi blog memang la monolog. Kan? Sebab dia rhyme. Mana tau derived from. Lagipun mana ada orang berbalas-balas pantun dalam blog. Eh ade kot. Haaaaaahhhh.

Jangan minum kopi malam-malam kalau satu-satunya ibadah yang diintend malam itu adalah tido. Kalau mahu juga tido segera setengah jam lepas minum before the caffeine kicks in. Sebab once it does I'm sorry no mercy.

randomness w/o a formula

1.Came across an entry yesterday in which someone wrote about herself trying hard to separate her real and virtual life. Led me to imagine that she maybe works as a big shot investment banker on wall street in the day but fangirls anonymously every night on wordpress. Which is cool. And made me want to separate mine too. Like, having real contact with real friends instead of clicking on their facebook profiles to get the updates. Which is a bad example.

2. My brother got his AS Levels results day before yesterday and literally slumped in disappointment. I think 14 points is really good, considering he took accounts n economics, which he never learnt in school and had to catch up in the one year he was doing the AS. Plus when compared to another pathetic, shit-lazy attempter who still failed to scrape enough points after doing the same thing for three years, i think my brother deserves a kenduri doa selamat. Anyway. Maybe 14points aren't enough to get you admitted as Ashraf Haziq's junior. You see, he wants to try to get into schools smack in the middle of London. How jealous can you get? ...Well not much if you consider the current riot and the living costs he'll have to face. ... But I'm still jealous!

3. I had a four-month holiday and wanted to work 'to meet new people'. As fate twisted and turned I landed on this current occupation, which allows me to really meet people but make no new contacts. On second thought its a good thing actually; I'm not that good at keeping in touch. And you have to go through the usual, reserved-for-strangers social niceties for a few minutes only; as opposed to making a new friend: kena bersopan santun, kenal hati budi dulu sikit baru berani nak gurau kasar ke  cubit-cubit lemak ke apa ke.

4. Bila tulis Melayu ni mesti teringat minggu orientasi UM, ada sekali tu panggil penceramah tu dtg dari Jobstreet dia kata kena berani ckp English, pstu dah last-last dia suruh tanya soalan and looked straight at my face but I was a loser chicken and only looked back at him sending him my question telepathically before getting the dial-up connection interrupted by another student asking. I regretted it to this day. Not because my qs was an all-important, world-changing one, but because I had no balls I was a chicken.

5. I hope everybody found a better part of themselves (however tiny) this Ramadhan. Lets resolve to exercise them until the next one, inshaAllah.

Just telling you

That if you have big arms, holding them this way above your head will actually make them look bigger.

So don't do it.

Only Seunggi can do it. Heh.

Seunggi-yah, I hold you responsible.

사야 벌에 두리스 마잠 인이. 즘부루 딱? ㅋㅋ

I forgot the first novel pains of learning a new language. Wish I had a Siegel to help go through the never known before grammatical-functioned(?) particles and honorifics. I know the basic rules of conjugation and (non-)colloquial speech - which applies to almost every language, anyway - but the origins of the language (East-Asian) and my interface (English) are so different, it makes it all more confusing since my mother tongue is Malay. I think I may fare better had I learnt it Korean-Malay. And my English is getting crappier since I have been reading Jane Austen a lot.

I bought the book two weeks ago, and had so far smoothly progressed to chapter four, at the end of which I managed to read Korean characters quite well (ahem). I printed out lyrics to songs and sang along a few hundred times before the characters began to look like alphabets instead of miniature geometrical shapes and some odd wiggles. By this time I am happy enough that I am able to pronounce and write the language (devoid of understanding their meaning - ah peduli apa). While sitting at the stall waiting for customers I practice writing out the characters, producing not Korean words but Malay ones. Which might explain why the sentence above seem so rubbishy when Google-translated; you should actually listen to them. It's not Korean, it's Kowi (or Hawi, I am yet to decide. -wi comes from Jawi. Hangul is the Korean character system).

Chapter 5 is where you start with the heavy grammatical parts. I am my own teacher, hence the procrastination. 이자띠 파이팅! 이자띠 화이팅!^^

A toast to What Ifs, If Onlys and I Wishes.

Allah tak jadikan kita cerdik / kaya / cantek menawan / super awesome , sebab dah tau dah kalau kita kaya, perangai kita mesti buruk macam beskal Raleigh takde handle yang dah sepuluh tahun dok bawah rumah.

Syukur Alhamdulillah.

It all ends

I get obsessed over a lot of things. From Hello Kitty to Jelly Beans to Shahid Kapoor to having at least one layer of face powder each time I gO OUT. I DONT KNOW WHY THIS STUPID KEYPAD KEEPS CAPS LOCKKING ITSELF AND AM TOO LAZY TO PRESS THE KEY BEFORE EACH ALPHABET SO I AM STOPPING AND CONTINUING SOME TIME LATER ON A PROPER KEYBOARD, NOT THIS UNUNDERSTANDABLE NOKIA CREATION. I AM NOT SHOUTING RIGHT NOW SO PARDON THE LOUD LETTERS. I LOVE HARRY POTTER, AND XIAXUE HEHEH. SALAAMUN'ALAIKUM

I forgot the clever title I composed for this entry last night before going to sleep.

I can not sleep if I don't read beforehand. Even after getting drowsy and having the lights off, there are still some things I couldn't free my mind from and end up mulling over. Many nights I spend with re-enacting life scenes, in which I had better responses to conversations and looked cooler. Heh. Other times were devoted to stories, most of it spin-offs from dramas or happenings around me. Like last night, I had Voldemort attacking me in front of a cinema. He rushed from inside the halls and pointed his wand at me screaming Avada Kedavra (to no effect, of course). When I stood my ground he blinked and cocked his head in surprise (in sync with the need of today's aegyo); I merely wiggled my forefinger at him and said "No killings in cinemas, please," in the most teacher-like manner possible.

Many other nights I spend with making mental blog entries in my head, all pretty and amusing and ready to be typed in the next day. Sadly, always, when a turned-on, already-connected-to-the-internet computer is within reach, I forgot my arguments. Recomposing them makes the end result turn so boring and predictable, so I dropped the effort altogether, and postponed it to the next time, when the cycle repeats.

an expression of feeling

lee seunggi's 'the oh-shit!'

from dramabeans.com.

Pacik, Masuk Sini Patutnye Tadi

Tak ada hadiah untuk teka tajuk itu ditujukan untuk siapa. Btw I write about my own experiences, just maybe what's currently happening around me triggers my memory so I feel drawn to write about it, please don't anybody feel like I'm talking about them.

Tajuk ditujukan untuk pacik teksi.

Mula-mula bukak semester memang kita semua semangat, 31 minit sebelum start class dah kita turun tunggu bas. Tapi sekarang 1ominit pun belum tentu. Jadi bila dah lambat, terlepas bas, kita naik teksi. Seminggu tu ada la empat lima kali naik teksi. Sampaikan sudah kenal pacik teksi misai ceni camtu, pacik teksi ada anak gadis comel dah tiga kali org meminang, pacik teksi nasi kukus kat PJ dan ramai lagi.

Selalunya kita berebut taknak duduk depan, sebab nanti kena layan pakcik berborak. Lepas tu kita taknak naik teksi buruk sebab kadang-kadang enjin dia bunyi macam motobot kita takut tak sampai pulak nanti. Tapi naik teksi cantik kereta Saga tu selalunya dia noob tak tau jalan sebab dia kan baru bawak teksi. Geram bila dia eksyen sangat macam tau pastu kita plak yang kena bayar untuk kenoobiban dia. Rasa nak buat rampasan stereng. Kalau saya drive sendiri memang dah sampai dah, pacik.

Nampak sesuatu yang mengejutkan di Facebook. Isk.

Actually I have a lot more to write about but right now I just couldn't. Until some other time.

Banyak yang Bercinta, Bertahun-tahun Putus Juga

Each time I think I can deal with heartbreaks, it struck. The only difference is the time needed to collect the pieces and superglue them together – it took less than two hours the last time, and a two-minutes crying session ONLY. I. Am. Awesome.

Eh tajuk kan bahasa melayu jadi kita kenalah tulis melayu. Mari cakap pasal ‘rebound’. Bahasa melayunya loncatan semula. Rebound adalah fenomena yang berlaku apabila seseorang yang baru putus selepas bercinta bagai nak rak dengan kekasih lama bertemu seseorang yang agak interesting padanya, dan menyedari bahawa mungkinkah cinta berputik kembali patah tumbuh hilang berganti seterusnya mengurat pula that interesting person sampailah kedapatan. Interesting di sini bermaksud orang itu tidak semestinya menepati ciri-ciri manusia idaman, tetapi mungkin mempunyai satu sifat yang tidak ada pada kekasih lama seperti tinggi 180cm, bercakap sopan santun, berjejari runcing, berambut ala Justin Bieber dan pelbagai lagi plus points yang sebenarnya hampir tidak lojik. Fenomena rebound juga bergantung gigih kepada timing yang tepat sekali, dan juga kepada kadar kekecewaan – semakin teruk kecewanyer, semakin dungu lah reboundnyerrr.

Hubungan (tidak intim, mungkin) bersama si rebound akan berlangsung seperti couple-couple biasa yang dijumpai di pasaraya. Dapatan dari hasil kajian mungkin juga menunjukkan bahawa sesi dating berlangsung lebih extreme daripada dates yang pernah dilalui bersama kekasih lama – setiap hari tanpa gagal, sehingga dua, tiga pagi – kerana si empunya diri berasakan bahawa dirinya amat tenang bersama si rebound, padahal dia yg takmo balik tidor sebab takmo sedih dibuai-buai kenangan bersama kekasih lama.

Sedar tak sedar, masa pun berlalu dan mulalah kurasakan pudar dalam hatiku rasa cinta yang ada untuk dirimu. Kau punya kulit kering, rambut kau asyik masuk mata je geram la nak tengok dan kau ni tak penah nak paham I kan sekolah cane nk reply mesej, dungu. Padahal dulu eksaited je reply SMS dalam kelas. Ini kerana sebenarnya si empunya diri is now strong enough and completely over the ex, dan si rebound ni dah habis madunyaaaa. So sad. Pastu diorang pun breakup. (Abis dah sep diooo. Eh?) Pastu si rebound yang dah jujur ikhlas tangkap cintun ni pun jumpa rebound lain. Cycle is repeated. Begitulah dunia.

Lepas break mesti ade punye ah rebound ni, kerat ayam weh. Perasan ka tak perasan. Mungkin juga bukan orang. Be it a friend, be it chocolates, a hobby or your sudden aversion to the colour red – skali lagi, kerat ayam weh. Wounds must heal tak kesah lah HOW.

Moral of the storieeee: takde moral. Ikutlah nak berkawan lagu mana pun.

This is Regrettable Procrastination

A literature review is due tomorrowt but what the hell.

I was browsing like I always do and came across a fact that 2/3 of the Swedish speaks English. Which brings me back to the few days I spent in Stockholm and the first night we were there - asking a bus driver for directions. I remembered him speaking English equivalent to a smashed china teacup but all the same being so helpful that he even left his driver's seat and went down onto the street to show me where to go. Then I remembered the sumpah hensem gila Calvin Klein underwear model-like man behind the counter at the railway station. When we were turning our maps upside down looking for our way to the hostel a really friendly couple approached us and asked "may we help you" and I was so damned touched. Have yet to return the deed to some lucky tourist.

OK homework calls.

Because Who Turns Up Punctual?

Lateness must be in our blood. Or at least part of our culture. Except for a first day, perhaps, because you will attract just too much attention if you come late on the first day, and it is again part of our culture to strive to be invisible. During days after that things go slack and it is unavoidable to think "Who in the world turns up on the right minute anyway?"

Honestly it is shameful to be late. OK maybe I'm alone in thinking it is. Seriously it doesn't prove anything good. Frankly speaking however I know how awkward you would feel when you are there at the right time. Being at least five minutes late is the right, preferable and acceptable thing to do, and you won't feel out of place then. The VVIPs are also one with the urgent need to be late - they would be considered early if they come within thirty minutes after the scheduled time. Who wants that, hey hey? Who wants to be regarded as the person who doesn't have anything else to do, that they managed excellently to plan their time and settle everything - including preparations and travel time - so that they could arrive on the spot?

Let me tell you a story that happened in 2009. My class had a function, at which we invited the Director of the Goethe-Institut Malaysia. We told him the event will start at 2.30 in the afternoon, so it was on the invitation cards and the flyers. When he came (which was exactly at 2.30pm), only two out of fifteen of us organizers were ready (the rest are still at the hostel) and there was not a single audience in the auditorium. Faces of the lecturers were already scrunched up because of some sour limes they ate earlier ( ok joke is not funny) and I hated it so much because suddenly I had to be the usher, when I was actually busy setting the computer up for the later presentation.

Homaii now I sound like a perasan goody who is never late. Well, I said I am familiar with the awkwardness of being an early bird - which actually is the reason why I dawdle and come late, too.

P/S: Be good and ignore the roses I use for my background. I had no idea why I chose this lady-ish picture in the first place and don't want to look for another now.

P/P/S: I am taking Fundamentals of English at school and (no, we don't learn how to say Good Morning like I first thought we would) was struck to learn that I have been using the perfects and progressives wrongly all this while. Must study it for the tests, however, but always end up filling in the blanks according to what I think - ikut sedap je :)

Kusut

Yes I changed my shampoo but the problem remains unsolved.

A hermit (not the crab) is perhaps so serene because he doesn't have to deal with people. Maybe I'll try retreating into a cave somewhere. Before my sanity gets torn into rippers.

Because telling people how I feel is like screaming right in the ears of a deaf. Nothing gets done. Everybody wants their own ways. Pretending you don't care what others do and living life the carefree way makes you look stupid and oh no opinions. Btw if you want to fake your way on the comment sections you can read this up: Five tips to help you.

Ddikir

Nah ambil ini dengar saja-saja.

Di atas ini ialah lagu juara.

Dikir barat ada empat pihak utama ya tuan-tuan dan puan-puan, tok juara (jogho), tukang karut, awak-awak dan pemuzik. Pemuzik itu ada lima pulak - rebana ibu, rebana anak, gong, canang dengan marakas tu nama tradisional dia apa entah. Awak-awak tu ambillah dari sepuluh hingga berpuluh-puluh orang pun tak apa kot (wah awesome juga kalau ada flashmob dikir!)

Semua orang dah tau kot, I join dikir barat untuk kolej. Bak kata seseorang itewww, "Ko ni jadi balaci la, sebab nak stay kat kolej?" Haha. Sorrylah next year I memang tak duduk UM dah okay. Jadi kalau join ape-ape tu memang ikhlas lah dari hati chewahh.

Pasal dikir ini pula. Mula-mula itu kawan-kawan yang registerkan. Diorang join sekali lah, of course. Masa dapat tau tu mmg #$#%# sedikit di dalam hati, afasal pulak ni suke suke je kan! Tapi pergi sajalah walaupun dua bulan pertama dok cakap "weh aku serius nak keluar, weh aku tanak join." Reasons for feeling so? Well, past experiences made me feel apprehensive being around people from the same background.

Heh masa mula-mula training itu pun memang kaki ponteng dahsyat, training Sabtu malam Ahad, habis semua nama kawan Dochland yang ada dipetik sebab mase tu memang orang tengah summer holidays, menipu kata keluar dengan diorang tak sempat balik padahal kita empat orang escape pergi i-City Shaalam pastu balik mengantuk bosan sebab tak ada apa pun kat situ.

Klakor kot bila diingat-ingatkan sebab sekarang ni, kalau takde kitorang masa training, memang tak jalan lah training itew chewaaah.

Haha betul kot. Seorang nyanyi lagu juara, seorang tukang karut, seorang awak-awak paling chargas, seorang lagi kalau tak datang nanti adalah peminat dia cari. ;)

Coach kita tak hensem (kehkehkeh dia tak baca punya) tapi dia sangat awesome berdikir, spontan je babeyh, menyanyi sedap pula itu, sudah join dikir semenjak umurnya 10tahun dan pernah pula buat show die overseas cewahh pujian melambung, tak apalah, respect.

Kita ada dua team kolej, sep jatey ngn sep tino (menyampah kan dengar? Tapi bahasanya kok memang begitu) lepas itu kalau sep tino (selepas ini Team B) training, ade lah Team A datang tengok, nak sesegar angin katanya. :D

Seronok sangat berdikir. Tapi kena belajar, macam tarian, bukannya boleh terus pandai. Tengok orang buat easy measy je terus dapat bunga segala, kita yang terhegeh-hegeh baru nak belajar sungguh jealous perasaannya, tahun depan untuk subjek Ko-K nak masuk berdikir lagi tapi mereka kata, "dah pandai nak buat apa?" Alahai tak faham ke Easy A haha.

Tapi betul juga, tak join perkara baru, tak kenallah dunia baru. Macam sekarang ini. :)

An Empty Void

We got news today that Hanisa must postpone her studies until next year. Those who visited her yesterday told us that her condition was so bad she need to wear her oxygen mask the whole time she was talking. Her heart was working four times harder, the hole in her heart, earlier estimated to be 2.0 cms, got bigger by 0.7cms in the course of three days.

This is our Hanisa, who in Germany walked 3 kilometres alone after class to buy shoes when we said we want to play football.

Hanisa who gets well with everybody.

Hanisa who is never angry to your face.

Hanisa who laughs heartily at every joke.

Hanisa who does not demand nor ask.

Hanisa who runs and kicks and plays and shoots like badass.

Hanisa who dozes off in class because she couldn't waste her time being bored, and prevents us from being so as we laugh watching her.

Hanisa who loves kids and gets loved back.

Hanisa who can play the piano and guitar despite having small hands.

Hanisa who sings so beautifully.

Hanisa who is so musically talented she can play the rebana ibu after being taught ONCE.

Hanisa who loves the Japanese anime, making everybody love it too.

Hanisa who cried silently leaning on the wall when somebody broke her heart, making me want to hit him.

Hanisa who we didn't know we would love and miss so terribly when she isn't with us.

These things happen.

Ya Allah selamatkanlah Siti Hanisa binti Mansor.

YOU ARE RUDE

1. When you spit in front of people.
2. When you spit in front of people who are eating.
3. When you giggle and whisper in a lift, even though you are talking about nobody who's present.
4. When you try tooth and nail to sell your customers things that aren't exactly up to standard.
5. When you talk to your friend who's standing behind a stranger on an escalator.
6. When you talk loudly to said friend, condemning someone else in the process.
7. When you talk to said friend loudly about some other person, and switched abruptly into another language which you know the pitiful person standing between you two won't understand.
8. When you stare.
9. When you stare at people and looked away the moment the person noticed and tried to smile at you.
10. When you didn't return a smile.
11. When you stop all of a sudden in the middle of a road, or right in front of an entrance.
12. When you stand in an entrance when you know people are queueing to get the hell out of there.
13. When you let the door slam into their faces.

Happy New Year 2011!

I believe everybody feels this way: the 1st of January doesn't have much impact, but the 2nd does. You wake up and thought, oh it's the second day already, how time flies!

A good 2010 wrap-up by Jin Hackman.

Results were out last Wednesday. (-oo-)

Itu sungguh saya kerana membulatkan lubang hidung terhadap sesuatu yang kurang enak.

Setakat mana kamu berusaha, setakat itulah yang kamu akan dapat.

Good Luck.